1. You never do laundry on the same day as them. Because while they’re a functioning human being who knows how to remove clothes from the dryer and put them away in an appropriate amount of time, you just leave everything in the dryer for a few days and simply go back and forth each time you need something.
2. You try not to check your email in front of them. Because you know that the 672 unread messages in your inbox would just give them heart palpitations.
3. If it weren’t for them, the Halloween decorations you put up in October would be out until January.
4. You’re prone to leaving your suitcase out for days after returning from a trip. And sometimes, you honestly forget that it’s still sitting open on your bedroom floor until they pop in, see it, and ask you if you’re going on another trip.
5. …to which you usually reply, “No. I just suck.”
6. When opening the fridge, it’s very clear whose food is whose. Yours is usually an odd assortment of things you’ve picked up from convenience stores, takeout, and leftovers you’ve brought back from restaurants. Whereas their food is neatly stored in various tupperware containers and is organized according to breakfast, lunch, or dinner meals.
7. And most of the time, their food has a purpose. None of it was purchased on a whim, unlike that frozen kefir that you bought because it looked “interesting.”
8. Their weekends are for getting things done. Your weekends are for getting nothing done, until Sunday night when you cram it all in in a record amount of time.
9. If you guys throw a party together, you usually set an alarm and force yourself to get up early the next day. Otherwise, they’ll end up cleaning up the entire kitchen by themselves before you even crack an eye open. They’re too responsible to leave a mess sitting there, and too nice to ask you to wake up and help.
10. So usually, you guys clean up together. Then, you take a nap and they go for a light 5 mile run.
11. You have two different types of alarms in your life. One is your phone alarm, which you snooze approximately 4 times every day, and the other is hearing your roommate shutting the door on their way to work, which reminds you that, oh yeah, you have a job and should probably get up.
12. Whenever your room is clean, it’s usually because you went into theirs to ask them a question and were reminded that normal adults put their clothes away into drawers instead of piling them up on a desk chair for 11 days.
13. If there are post-its in your dwelling, they use them to make to-do lists. Whereas you use them to scribble your name in different fonts while you’re on the phone with your mom talking about God knows what.
14. Their strategy for doing the dishes is rinsing off a plate and putting it directly into the dishwasher. Your strategy is using every last dish you can find in order to avoid cleaning. THEY MAKE IT SEEM SO SIMPLE.
15. They usually have some kind of planner that helps them keep their life together. Whereas you just leave notes around for yourself that say things like “Dad card Walgreens” and “milk old.”
16. You occasionally have alcohol-induced love fests in which you both vehemently proclaim that you balance each other out perfectly and that, NO, YOU’RE AMAZING.
17. You’re perfectly fine with the fact that they keep you on your toes and are the reason why you live in such a clean, adult-ish place. But, at the same time, you love being the one to provide them with some much-needed silliness and fun in their normally orderly life. It’s a win-win.