21 Tinder Bios Celebrities Would Have If They Had Tinder

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Let’s take a deeper look into these celebs and who they really are.

Tyler Perry

Tyler Perry Presents: Tyler Perry’s Tyler Perry Tinder Experience by Tyler Perry featuring Tyler Perry.

Instagram / TylerPerry
Instagram / TylerPerry

Zooey Deschanel

Gurgle blarg glasses meow womp. I’m dorky!

Instagram / ZooeyDeschanel
Instagram / ZooeyDeschanel

Donald Trump

That’s why her hair’s so big. It’s… full of secrets.

The Apprentice
The Apprentice

Kanye West

I’m just looking for a Kanye that I can love and cherish.

Instagram / KimKardashian
Instagram / KimKardashian

Beyonce

LOL, just swipe left. You have no chance.

Instagram / Beyonce
Instagram / Beyonce

Blake Lively

I’m pretty. There, that should be enough.

Instagram / preserve_us
Instagram / preserve_us

Rob Kardashian

I sell socks that my mom made.

Instagram / KimKardashian
Instagram / KimKardashian

Kristen Stewart

Oh.

Instagram / KristenStewart
Instagram / KristenStewart

Victoria Beckham

I smile for NO ONE.

Instagram / VictoriaBeckham
Instagram / VictoriaBeckham

Madonna

I’m here, still.

Instagram / Madonna
Instagram / Madonna

Chris Pratt

The original dad bod. But now I’m hot.

Instagram / PrattPrattPratt
Instagram / PrattPrattPratt

will.i.am

Party. Alcohol. Beats. Cool. Dance. Fun. Hello… Not my interests, just the names of several of my future songs.

Instagram / iamwill
Instagram / iamwill

Drake

I’m the guy trying to hide my boner in the “Anaconda” video.

Instagram / champagnepapi
Instagram / champagnepapi

Adam Sandler

My acting mantra is: just scream the whole time.

Big Daddy

Michael Cera

I’m not sure how I got here. Or anywhere.

Juno
Juno

Tom from Myspace

Don’t leave me, ever. EVER.

Screen Shot 2015-05-14 at 12.58.51 AM

The Rock

I’m a wrestler. Lol, jk.

Instagram / therock
Instagram / therock

Ellen Pompeo

I have a knack for looking sad. All the time.

Instagram / greysabc
Instagram / greysabc

Sarah Jessica Parker

Best known for my role as Sarah Sanderson in 1993’s Hocus Pocus.

Hocus Pocus
Hocus Pocus

John Travolta

You can call me Jeb Tronvolty.

2014 Oscars
2014 Oscars

Tom Brady

When I’m single, my heart feels the way my balls do: slightly deflated. TC mark

Patriots
Patriots

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather
Let go now
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I may not have discovered this discrepancy on my own, and it’s nice there finally is a Yelp for weed. 💚

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