1. When you eat an entire box or package of something in one sitting and then you look at the nutrition facts and it’s like, “Servings Per Container: 10” and you whisper, “It’s too late.”
2. When you’re out at a restaurant with friends and the server asks if they should bring over a dessert menu and everyone looks around nervously and does the whole, “Well I mean if you’re having something, I might have a bite.” But no one wants to be the first one to admit they want dessert so you finally just scream, “YES WE’D LIKE A DESSERT MENU.”
3. And then one of your friends suggests you all just split something with several forks and you are so angry that you burst into flames.
4. When your alarm goes off and you’re furious about it and the only thing that actually gets you out of bed is the thought of eating.
5. When you blink several times and realize you’ve been standing in front of the refrigerator in a trancelike state for the last ten minutes.
6. And then you grab something, even if you’re not hungry, so that the trip to the fridge wasn’t for nothing.
7. When you’re bored at a party and you spend the entire evening planning what you’re going to eat when you get home.
8. When you buy a cake at the store that’s clearly meant for several people at a party, but you have the sole intention of eating it entirely by yourself.
9. When you stand in the kitchen, eating in the dark, because you’re too tired to turn on the lights but too hungry to go back to sleep without eating something.
10. When you eat Chipotle in front of your boyfriend for the first time and you don’t hold anything back.
11. When you buy Toaster Strudels or muffins at the store and you’re excited to go to sleep because you’re that much closer to waking up and getting to experience that deliciousness.
12. And then you just can’t wait any longer so you end up eating a Toaster Strudel at 11:30 at night and it’s everything. And then you feel sick but you don’t care.
13. When you drop something on the ground and pick it up and eat it anyway, without question.
14. …Even when you’re in public.
15. When you’re out to dinner with a group of people and that one girl goes, “Ugh, I just get full so easily!” And then you stab her with a fork, metaphorically speaking.
16. When your boyfriend asks if you want to order a pizza and you’ve never been more sexually attracted to him in your entire life.
17. When you simultaneously feel a strong sense of fear as well as a sick sense pleasure when you eat a lot of food in front of your mom.
18. When you have a day where you’re really struggling to be productive so you start rewarding yourself with chocolate or ice cream or a five-course Italian meal every time you get a little bit of work done.
19. When you feel utter shock if someone tells you they can make a can of Pringles last for more than one sitting.