1. Your friends pretty much groan at everything you say, because pretty much everything you say is a ridiculous pun.
2. No one wants to accompany you to the grocery store, because there’s just too much material there, waiting to be used for its true purpose.
3. Any sort of birthday post you make about one of your friends on Facebook or Instagram is less about emotional well-wishes and more about how many jokes you can squeeze into one caption.
4. Any time your friends come upon a dating profile that has a cheesy joke in it, they alert you immediately, as if it’s the most important thing in the world. Like they believe this person could be your true soulmate, simply because they used a lame joke in their Tinder bio.
5. Half the things you say end with you going, “Eh? Ehhh?!?”
6. Half the things you say also end with you wearing a superior smirk, because you know you’ve said something that’s going to make your friends pretend like they hate you. (And sometimes… actually hate you.)
7. You think of your humor as clever, refreshing, and fun. Others think of it as “similar to that of my 78-year-old grandpa.”
8. Most of your text message exchanges consist of you making a pun about something and your friend responding with “ugh” or “shut up” or “good bye.”
9. But nothing is more thrilling than a group text, where you can annoy (but secretly entertain) multiple friends at the same time.
10. Coming up with the name of the Wi-Fi for your apartment was no ordinary task. It was a big, big moment that took a lot of thought and a difficult decision between many great choices.
11. If you have a pet, its name is definitely something way more complicated than “Bailey” or “Buddy.”
12. If you were ever forced to work in the porn industry, your job would be the person who comes up with the titles for the pornos.
13. You’ve always known how to appreciate a good greeting card, practically since the day you first learned how to read.
14. Easter is one of your favorite holidays, even if you don’t celebrate it. Because there are just too many ways you can take advantage of the word “egg.”
15. You will always go into a store or a restaurant if it has a clever name, regardless of whether or not you’re interested in whatever they’re selling.
16. You love road trips with your friends because of the music and the camaraderie and blah blah blah. But mostly, you love the fact that they’re forced to be stuck in a car with you for hours at a time while you make horribly lame jokes about the things you guys drive by.
17. Nothing warms your heart more than a punny advertisement, greeting card, office notice, email, or anything else that reminds you that there are other nerds out there who appreciate word play just as much as you.