1. When you’re getting worked up over what you should wear out tonight: Fuck it. Can you remember what every person you were with was wearing at the bar last night? By tomorrow morning you’re the only one who’s going to remember what you looked like anyway.
2. When everyone’s life on social media seems way better than yours: Fuck it. Everybody embellishes their lives on social media, even you. There’s a filter for everything. It is what it is, don’t worry about taking it too seriously. Relax and give yourself a break from your phone if it’s causing you that much stress.
3. When you’re unbearably hungover: Fuck it. Alcohol leads to bad hangovers, especially after age 22. Just embrace it. Hopefully you had enough fun to make the hangover worth it. Eat a pizza and then take a walk. The fresh air will help.
4. When you’re stuck in a job you absolutely hate: Fuck it. Start applying for jobs and demand better for yourself. It might take a while, but you deserve to be happy and that means searching and searching until you find something that’s a better fit. Don’t stress yourself out. Just work on slowly but surely formulating a plan on how to get yourself on the path you want to be on.
5. When you start freaking out about feeling old: Fuck it. Getting older is a part of life and it’s unavoidable. Don’t waste your youth stressing out about the years passing by. You’ll miss a lot of good moments if you’re not paying attention. And besides, old people are hilarious and wise and they get away with saying things that are kind of rude sometimes.
6. When you think your waiter or waitress is cute: Fuck it. Tell them they did a good job and leave your number. If they don’t contact you, perhaps take a break from going to that restaurant for the next two or eleven years. You’ll bounce back if it didn’t work out. Be proud of yourself for taking a risk. Go you.
7. When you’re walking down a long street or hallway and there’s only one other person for miles and you’re walking towards each other and it’s awkward: Fuck it. Smile at them. It’s better than looking at the ground or pretending to be extremely interested in that spot on the wall.
8. When you made plans with your friend but you’re tired AF but this is the third attempt you guys have made at hanging out: Fuck it. Go anyway. Friendships are important and they become more and more rare the older we get. You’ll have more fun hanging out with them than you will laying in your bed. And you’ll be freed from that awful “canceling guilt” that comes and lasts for hourssss. Days even.
9. When you’re in love with someone and you really want to tell them: Fuck it. Tell them. Love is hard enough to find these days. If you think you’ve found it with someone, let them know. Maybe they’ll just respond with “Oh” or “Thanks.” But maybe they’ll respond with, “I love you too.” Either way, you’re putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to love. And you’ll never drive yourself crazy with the awful regret of What If?
10. When you can’t decide whether or not you should stay in or go out: Fuck it. Ignore what your friends are saying and do whatever the F you want. If that means going out with them until four in the morning, great. If it means putting on pajamas and eating ice cream out of the carton, great. Don’t ask anyone’s permission. To quote the philosophers on Jersey Shore, you do you bro.
11. When they get your order wrong at the restaurant: Fuck it. Ask for them to fix it, even if it’s something small. You’re paying for this meal. As long as you’re polite and you’re not asking them to practically cut your chicken for you over your shoulder, you deserve to get what you want.
12. When one of your friends is being passive aggressive towards you. Fuck it. Ask them what’s wrong. If they say “nothing” it’s their problem. If they tell you it’s because you were being an ass and you were being an ass, apologize and buy them a drink or knit them a sweater or something.
13. When you had a bad day and you want cake: Fuck it. Eat the cake. Go all Matilda on that shit if you want to.
14. When you have to give a presentation at work and you’re terrified: Fuck it. No one is judging you nearly as much as you think they are. Maybe it’ll be scary, but at least you’re up there doing it, which is more than many people can say. Just get up there and pretend you run the world (GIRLS) and then celebrate afterwards with a friend or a bottle of wine or a giant block of cheese.
15. When you’re tired but like, you should clean your room: Fuck it. Clean your room. You’ll feel better afterwards, instead of spending the whole time sitting on the couch not cleaning your room and watching t.v. but being distracted by the annoying thought of how you should be cleaning your room.
16. When your friends at dinner are eating a lot and berating themselves for it: Fuck it. Eat whatever you what and don’t apologize to anyone for it or feel the need to publicly shame yourself for having some fun. I’m not saying make it your life goal to eat several thousand calories a day. I’m just saying there should be some balance between eating healthy and treat-yoself-ing.
17. When there’s a new class or gym or intramural sports league you want to try but you’re nervous: Fuck it. Don’t overthink it. No one’s going to reject you. If you try it and you love it, you found a new hobby for life. If you try it and you don’t like it, now you know.
18. When it’s the weekend and you want to sleep in but you feel like you should get up and be productive: Fuck it. Sleep if you feel like you deserve it. Don’t make it a habit, but you should let yourself sleep in as late as you want every once in a while. Grocery shopping or cleaning or yogging with a silent j can wait.
19. When you’re out shopping and you try on something that you like but don’t love: Fuck it. Save your money for something you’ll actually really enjoy. Buying something for the sake of buying something will only be fun for a hot second.
20. When there’s a new position open in your office and you think you could do it: Fuck it. Talk to your boss. You’re not automatically entitled to it, but you deserve the right to fight for it. What’s the harm in asking and trying?
21. When you feel like you should go on that run but you’re tired: Fuck it. It sucks, but you will always, always feel better afterwards.
22. When your friend has done something to upset you and they don’t realize it: Fuck it. Talk to them. Let them know that they hurt you and be open to the fact that they might have some things to say to you too. It’s always better than bottling it up inside.
23. When you know you should go to bed but like, you don’t want to because that means you’re that much closer to work or school in the morning: Fuck it. You’ll feel way better tomorrow if you just go to bed now. Whatever you’re planning on doing in the next hour isn’t going to change your life, so you might as well use it to sleep.