20 Things A 20-Something Guy Says That Straight Up Tell You He’s Just Not Into You

There’s nothing wrong with a guy not wanting a relationship, as long as he handles it the right way. Some guys are honest and up front with you, some guys are not, and some are in the middle, not really sure how to get the message across. Here are 20 things that good guys, bad guys, and somewhere-in-the-middle guys say that will just straight up tell you they’re not interested.

Flickr / patrickas
Flickr / patrickas

1. “I don’t really use labels.”

He’ll call someone his girlfriend at some point. He’s just not ready or interested in using that label with you.

2. “Sorry I just got your text.”

No he didn’t. His phone is always in front of him or in his pocket. He saw your text a while ago. It just wasn’t a priority for him to respond right away.

3. “I think you’re awesome. But…”

He probably does think you’re awesome. But this is also probably his way of letting you down easy.

4. “I’m not sure what I want right now.”

You’re not what he wants right now. If he wanted to be with you he would make that clear.

5. “This week’s crazy for me.”

Maybe he is really busy, maybe he is not. The only truth you can count on from this is that it’s not gonna happen between you two. It’s just easier for him to be vague and indirect about it.

6. “That sounds awesome! But sorry I can’t tonight.”

If he really wanted to see you, he would figure out a way. And if he’s honestly not lying about having plans and there is no way for him to see you tonight, he will make sure to nail down another day and time that will work.

7. “Let’s just not worry about ‘what we are’ for right now.”

He might be a little bit interested – at least interested enough to keep this going for now. But if he really, seriously wanted to be with you, he would be worrying about “what we are.”

8. “I like you, I’m just not ready for a relationship.”

He honestly does not and will not ever want to be with you. It doesn’t matter whether or not he “likes you.”

9. “I think we’re good together, but I think we should also keep our options open.”

He thinks he can do better than you, but he wants to keep you around just in case. Nope. Let it die.

10. “I feel like you can do better than me.”

He wants to break up, but he wants you to be the one to do it so he can walk away guilt-free.

11. “It’d probably be best if we keep things casual.” 

Yeah maybe he wants to hang out or hook up or talk or just “have a thing.” But if he actually wanted to be in a relationship with you, he’d just flat-out say it. If you’re looking for a relationship, this isn’t your guy.

12. “I’m just going to take it easy tonight.”

Don’t stress out or look for a hidden message. If he wanted company, he’d ask.

13. “Are any of your friends single?”

He’s probably trying to hint to you, in a gentle, funny way, that he’s not interested in you in a romantic way and would rather be your friend.

14. “I’m trying to just focus more on me right now and getting my life together.”

He does not think that being with you is going to make his life better, or he’s just looking for a cordial way to break things off.

15. “Right now’s not a good time, but I could see us together in the future.”

Not interested. Having too much fun being single right now. But he wants you to stick around as a good back-up plan or when he’s finally ready to commit. Shut it down – if he was interested, it would be now, not in the future.  

16. “We’d probably be better off as friends.”

Maybe he honestly wants to be your friend. Maybe he doesn’t. Either way, he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend.

17. “I feel like it would be more fun if we didn’t take this so seriously.”

Maybe one day he’ll get serious, but not today and not with you.

18. “I haven’t ruled it out, there’s just a lot on my plate right now.”

He thinks, and might be correct in thinking, that the fate of your relationship rests entirely in his hands. Even if he ever, possibly decided to give “this” a chance, it’s not a good foot to start out on. Just let this one fizzle.

19. “Maybe later.”

If he literally has zero other plans going on the rest of the weekend, maybe he’ll consider hanging out with you. Basically, he’s kind of thinking of you as a last resort instead of a top priority.

20. *hits on another girl while you’re out together*

It was fun while it lasted. Game over. Go home. There are plenty of other non-commitment-phobes in the sea. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Kim Quindlen

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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