Why You Should Look For Your Best Friend Instead Of Your Soulmate

Shutterstock / View Apart
Shutterstock / View Apart

People have an obsession with finding soulmates. With the idea that there’s only one person in the entire universe with whom you can feel an insanely strong, intense, unbreakable, romantic connection.

We’re brought up to believe this, groomed to think that our entire life path should lead to one person. One person who will validate our existence and prove that we have worth and show us that romantic love is the one true way to happiness.

I believe in soulmates. But I don’t believe we have just one. And I don’t think they always have to be a soulmate in the romantic sense.

I strongly believe that romantic love can make you happy. It’s made me happy before and I’m sure it will make me happy in the future. But it’s not the only way to find happiness, and it’s not the only way to find a soulmate.

I think soulmates are everywhere. They’re random people that we encounter during specific points in our lives for one reason or another – school, work, sports, hobbies, mutual friends – and they always bring us some kind of joy, happiness, or enlightenment.

They’re our best friends, and they’re everywhere, waiting to meet us, waiting to form that deep, human connection that each one of us so desperately craves.

The problem is that we miss them a lot of the time, because we’re so enthralled with trying to find our one and only romantic soulmate. We’re convinced there’s only one person in the world who can bring us true fulfillment and joy, instead of realizing that there are people surrounding us every second of every day who are looking for that same joy and validation that we are.

You’re not going to find true fulfillment and validation from one person alone – romantic or not. That’s up to you to find on your own, through a variety of relationships, decisions, opinions, and choices that you make.

But in the meantime, you can never overestimate the amount of joy and release and connectedness and laughter you will feel from the relationships you make with other people. People who can still make you feel loved and cherished and taken care of and appreciated, even if they aren’t your romantic love.

The love of a best friend is real and meaningful, eye-opening and consistent. It has its own challenges, sure, but the positive aspects of a truly deep and loyal friendship greatly outweigh any challenges you’ll encounter along the way. You’re missing out on a seriously amazing experience if you walk around life only looking for your romantic soulmate, instead of keeping your heart open and available for meaningful friendships and relationships that are waiting to happen for you.

Romantic love will make you happy, it really will. But so will a bunch of other kinds of love. So keep an eye out for your soulmate(s). Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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