21 Women On Helpful Dating Advice They Wish They Had Gotten In College

Shutterstock / LoloStock
Shutterstock / LoloStock

1. If sharing the same religious values are a deal breaker, don’t lead the person on for a while and try to convince them to keep dating. If you can’t accept that they don’t believe whatever you believe in, just end it ASAP. Makes everyone happier.

-Ainsley, 23

2. Date women instead.

-Marie, 26

3. I’d tell myself to be more careful, especially freshman year, because that’s a crazy time and everyone just wants to get drunk and hook up. I wish I had known not to get too attached to anyone.

-Stephanie, 25

4. There was a person I really wanted to date but we never did. I wish we had, because timing is everything, and by the time we were ready to date we couldn’t.

-Elizabeth, 23

5. I know a lot of girls who were working towards their MRS instead of their BA/BS and I think a lot of them regret it now.

-Megan, 25

6. If you have to ask “do you think he could be gay?”…there are high chances your intuition is correct.

-Ann, 28

7. Don’t go to college WITH your high school boyfriend.

-Juliana, 23

8. If I could do things differently, I would tell myself to stop worrying so much about who was into me and whether or not anyone wanted to date me. I should have focused more on having fun and my friends and preparing for a successful adult life.

-Emily, 25

9. Don’t hook up with people you are in the same extra curriculars with.

-Kelly, 24

10. Never date anyone who has a role as a public official or plans to be in a position in which they explain to you that “they have a reputation to uphold.”

-Nina, 27

11. Don’t forget how young you are. You have so much of your life left to live, including your dating life.

-Chelsea, 29

12. My biggest problem was comparing myself too much to my friends and, even worse, people I didn’t even know. I was obsessing over how much better other girls looked in their Instagram and Facebook pictures instead of living in the moment and enjoying what I was doing.

-Heather, 23

13. Don’t try to change a guy that doesn’t want to be changed.

-Courtney, 22

14. I didn’t learn this until later in college, but the way to meet guys that actually want to date you is by doing things where you’re sober and you actually can get to know each other. Student organizations, class, campus events, all that stuff. I still went out and drank and had a blast, but I didn’t realize until later that the only guys I would meet by going out are the ones that wanted to hook up and then ignore you the next day.

-Maria, 23

15. I wish I had branched out more. I had a very small and exclusive social group and we all only ever hung out with each other. And yet I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t meeting anybody.

-Taylor, 25

16. …Don’t get into a long term relationship in college

-Vanessa, 26

17. As cheesy as it sounds, don’t try to be the person you think someone would like, just be you. Because if you’re being someone else, eventually they’re going to figure that out, and then you’re screwed.

-Jamie, 24

18. You basically make a lot of dumb mistakes a lot later in life than you wish. Makes me feel like a later bloomer in the world of dating.

-Erin, 26

19. If a guy likes you, he will make an effort. He’ll call or text, or he’ll ask you on a date. Or he’ll try to meet up somehow. Don’t try to go after him if he’s repeatedly telling you he’s busy or that we should take a raincheck. It means he’s just not interested.

-Christine, 28

20. I wish I hadn’t taken it all so seriously and had had more fun flirting, dating a few different people at once, and just having a good time. You don’t realize until you leave college that you’re never going to be in that situation again where there’s all these attractive young people around who have a ton of free time and no serious responsibilities.

-Alexis, 30

21. Be nice to everyone you meet, because you never know who knows who. And a lot of times, there are people in college who are unlikely friends. You’re not going to get anywhere in your dating life if you’re walking around being a bitch to everyone you meet.

-Brooke, 22

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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