Girls Who Drink Mike’s Hard Versus Girls Who Drink Smirnoff Ice

The Hills
The Hills

1. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard like pictures of sunrises on Instagram; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice like pictures of sunsets on Instagram.

2.  Girls who drink Mike’s Hard are mildly creeped out by Ariana Grande; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice order an Ariana Grande at Starbucks.

3. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard are gluten-free; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice are gluten-exclusive.

4. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice watch anything else.

5. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard pop eleven Xannies when they get on a plane; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice drink Jack and Coke’s because they forgot their Xanny.

6. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard are Team Edward-Is-Dramatic; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice are Team Jacob-Fell-In-Love-With-A-Baby.

7. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard say “I hate this” when they watch The Bachelor but keep watching anyway; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice hate it too but they distract themselves by stalking the contestants on social media.

8. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard were always wondering if Lizzie and Gordo were going to get together; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice were more concerned with WTF happened to Miranda in the last several episodes of this one-of-a-kind show.

9. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard watch Liz & Dick; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice watch Labor Pains. 

10. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard felt awkward during Taylor Swift’s appearance in the SNL 40 Californians sketch; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice were scared of Sia’s wig.

11. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard wear leggings as pants; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice do that too because who the hell wouldn’t do that it feels amazing.

12. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard have watched the movie New Year’s Eve; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice have watched Valentine’s Day. Both types of girls regret doing this.

13. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard read books they buy in the romance section at the grocery store; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice read A Shore Thing by Snooki.

14. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard love the movie The Pregnancy Pact on Lifetime; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice prefer Beauty & the Briefcase. 

15. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard were attracted to the male model in the “Blank Space” music video; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice were more concerned with the state of the kitten that was dangerously close to Taylor’s knife.

16. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard get drunk while watching the Golden Globes; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice eat a pound of guacamole while watching the Golden Globes.

17. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard dislike Anne Hathaway; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice also dislike Anne Hathaway.

18. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard wanted to be a part of the Disney Channel Circle of Stars; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice thought the updated rendition of Circle of Life was mediocre.

19. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard watched Little Bear on Nick Jr. when they were young; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice were too distracted by how terrifying “Face” was.

20. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard answer everything by saying “IT’S HANDLED”; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice are too busy drinking out of the giant Olivia Pope wine glasses.

21. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard ~*WrOtE LiKe tHiS*~ all the time on AIM; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice used vague, dramatic, I’m-so-lonely quotes for their away messages.

22. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard pretend to be annoyed by “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice pretend to be annoyed by “22.”

23. Girls who drink Mike’s Hard say “bye” when something is just too much; girls who drink Smirnoff Ice say “I’m dead.” TC mark

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