50 Weird Thoughts Every Girl Has During The Insanity That Is Sorority Recruitment

Legally Blonde
Legally Blonde

1. Does everyone look this perfect all the time?

2. I think I just had a heart attack.

3. If someone asks me what I’m majoring in one more time, I’m quitting life.

4. I’m convinced that every question they ask me is a trap of some sort.

5. One hour down. Only one trillion to go.

6. I feel like I’m in a Greek-Life-themed version of High School Musical.

7. I think I just blacked out, even though I’m completely sober.

8. I wish I was drinking.

9. I wonder if how many of these people are actually drunk.

10. What’s this girl’s name again that I’m talking to? Lisa? Alyssa? Melissa? Mallory?

11. I’ll just call her “girl” to be safe. Bye, Girl! Good talking to you!

12. Jk, that was the most painful conversation of my life.

13.  Fake smiling is physically painful.

14. But it’s even more painful to have to watch someone else fake smile.

15. Why does everyone cheer even when the person welcoming us isn’t saying anything interesting?

16. I feel like I’m speed dating right now, but with a bunch of people that are prettier than me.

17. How come guys don’t have to go through this?

18. I can’t remember how long I’ve been having this conversation for. It could have been five minutes or five hours, I wouldn’t know the difference at this point.

19. I have no clue what to talk about with this girl, so I’m just going to tell her I like her tights.

20. At what point do we get to the Animal House aspect of Greek Life?

21. I’ve never thought about shoes so much in my life.

22. I think I’ve gotten the once-over at least fifty-six times today.

23. It feels like this whole experience is never actually going to end.

24. Are they ever going to throw a toga party of some sort?

25. …because I don’t get to wear a toga at some point, then what has this all been about?

26. There’s just so much clapping. I can’t handle it.

27. I keep waiting for someone to Volunteer As Tribute.

28. I am pretty sure I’ve been in stadiums quieter than this room.

29. If I join this sorority, do I have to be this excited all the time?

30. I love skit day because it means ten glorious minutes where I don’t have to speak or think.

31. Have I really been doing this for ten hours already today?

32. Why do they keep calling these things “parties”? There is NO party going on here.

33. Being greeted by the girls each time I come into a new sorority reminds me of the stampede scene from The Lion King.

34. I cannot handle one more round of “Welcome, ladies!!!!” *INSERT INSANE CHEERING*

35. Do any of these people know what a donut is?

36. If one more person tells me to just be yourself

37. So much coffee, so little food.

38. To the girl down the hall who’s stressed out because she just has too many choices: good bye.

39. I’ve never seen so many pink emojiis being used in Instagram captions as I have this week.

40. There’s always that one damn sorority whose song I can’t get out of my head for hours/days.

41. Well, if I don’t get into any sororities, at least I won’t have to be on the other side of this next year?

42. I don’t know what day of the week it is, but I know that tomorrow is “Philanthropy Day.”

43. I think I just temporarily forgot that guys exist.

44. It feels like I keep getting gang signs thrown in my face, but scarier.

45. I will hate the word “Panhel” for the rest of my life.

46. Pref round will be very emotional for me, but mostly because that means this is all almost over.

47. I don’t want to think about outfits ever again.

48. Why do I feel like these girls all have secretly found a way to look at my Facebook?

49. I’ve had eighteen Life Saver mints. Today.

50. I can’t remember anything that happened this week. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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