23 Thoughts Every Person Has During The First Hour Of Their Hangover

Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation

1. Bread.

2. I will take it in any form – pizza, bagels, pizza bagels, toast, a sub, anything.

3. Help me Sweet Baby Jesus.

4. As the dawn breaks, so doth my hangover.

5. This is the fourteenth time I’ve woken up on top of the covers, still in my clothes from last night.

6. Oh how cute, there’s an empty pizza box on the floor keeping me company.

7. Was last night even worth it?

8. To be determined.

9. How did people drink so much in the olden days when Advil didn’t exist?

10. I’m never drinking again… for the rest of the week.

11. Pizza for breakfast, Chipotle for lunch, pizza for dinner. That is the only #win that’s going on today.

12. STFU, girl who posted on Instagram about how she already hiked up a mountain today.

13. My hangover is a greater mountain than you will ever climb.

14. I would feel better if I knew that Beyonce got hungover too.

15. Netflix is usually the only thing that makes me feel better, but I’m too dizzy to watch people moving around right now.

16. The struggle is so real.

17. I wish I could trade bodies with my worst enemy, just for today.

18. Why can’t my body do this anymore? How did I survive the first couple years of college?

19. When I remember people saying that the only thing that truly cures a hangover is time, I die a little on the inside.

20. I need to watch that episode of Parks and Recreation where everybody is hungover so I can feel better about myself.

21. Making it from the bed to the couch is my 127 Hours.

22. I wish I had a private steam room in my house so I could just sweat this all out.

23. More bread. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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