10 Truths Every Unapologetic Girl Learns By Age 25

There’s a beautiful moment in a girl’s life where she stops feeling the need to apologize for being happy, ambitious, and content with who she is.
Shuttershock / PisaPhotography
Shuttershock / PisaPhotography

1) There is no limit to what you can do. Limits only exist in your own mind, if you allow them to.

I never thought I’d be using the phrase the limit does not exist! in a non-ironic way, and yet, here we are. But honestly, the best part about being in your twenties is coming to the eventual realization that the only person who can truly, actually hold you back is yourself. Pretty much anytime I have a moment where I feel like I’ve accomplished something, I think, wow, the me-from-two-years-ago would have never believed I could have done this. That’s the best part. You don’t have to picture climbing the entire mountain at once. You just have to allow yourself to believe you can make it up the next step, to allow yourself to believe that you have no limits.

2) You cannot underestimate how powerful your gut and your intuition have become.

As we get older, we’re going to be faced with decisions that get harder and harder. It’s important to think them through. It’s important to be logical and practical. But it’s also important to trust your instincts. When something doesn’t feel right to you, there’s a reason behind that.

3) People are going to break your heart, and you can’t hold it against them.

You can’t fall in love unless you’re also willing to take the risk of having your heart broken. And sometimes, it will happen. Someone will hurt you. And even if they were in the wrong, holding onto your anger will get you nowhere.

4) You only have to listen to the criticism of the people who care about you and the ones who want the best for you.

Listen to your family members or your friends when they are trying to help you. Listen to your boss when he or she is giving you advice on how to improve your work. Listen to the people who truly want you to succeed. Everyone else is just criticizing that which they wish they could see in themselves.

5) Even if you completely work your ass off, success will not show up immediately afterwards. 

You are not going to be rewarded for your hard work overnight. That’s why not everyone is successful. If success was easy to achieve, everybody would have it. Success takes diligence, consistency, and a willingness to do the things that no one else wants to do.

6) The only one who can tell you how to feel about your sex life and your dating life and your love life is you. 

Our twenties are about growing and exploring and experimenting and becoming comfortable with ourselves. But they’re also an extremely rocky and uncertain period in our lives. It’s easy and tempting to let other people tell you how to date and who to sleep with and how to present yourself and who to marry. But at the end of the day, the only person who truly understands what you’re looking for in another person is you.

7) People’s lives aren’t as perfect and easy and happy as they’re leading you to believe. 

When you’re comparing your life to the lives of your Facebook and Instagram friends, you’re actually comparing your real life to their manicured, edited, filtered lives. Nobody has it easy and no one’s life is perfect, so if you’re losing your mind over jealousy of someone else, you’re wasting your time.

8) …But there’s also nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments and thankful for the good things in your life. 

It’s perfectly fine and understandable to want to share good news online – to tell your friends about your trip or your new job or your funny night out. It’s just important to remember that your virtual presence is just an extension of your life – it’s not your actual life.

9) People are going to try and tell you that you can’t do things. And the best response is to ignore them. 

When you have goals and dreams and ambition and drive, it can sometimes make people uncomfortable. But the thing you learn as you get older is that the only people who are uncomfortable about your determination and resolve are the ones who are failing to chase after their own aspirations. Toning it down and letting your fire die out because someone told you that your dreams are unrealistic means you’re just falling down to their level.

10) The day you decide that you have no one to answer to is the most freeing day of your life. 

It’s going to be a lifelong challenge to refrain from worrying about others’ opinions, to do what you want to do, and to listen to yourself. But as long as you remember that you don’t actually have to answer to anyone else, and as long as you’re making a sincere attempt to live according to that mantra, you will be happier than you’ve ever been before. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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