Newsflash: we’re all crazy. Some people are incredibly insecure and good at hiding it. Some people cling to their daily routines like oxygen, and if anything gets interrupted, they lose it. Some people are anxious. Some are depressed. Some have OCD. Some people are perfectionists, and some seem to make a mess wherever they go. You don’t even have to have just one, specific diagnosed thing that makes you crazy. Some of us are just a little bit weird, for a lot of reasons.
The point is this: you can still be in love.
Love is not biased. Love does not seek out the best of the best and leave everybody else behind. Love does not look you up and down and then decide to move onto someone else if you appear to be a little bit flawed. “Being in love” is not some special thing that only happens for seemingly perfect people who always have it all together. Anybody can fall in love, regardless of who they are or where they came from or what the current status of their wellbeing is.
Do not tell yourself that you don’t deserve to be in love simply because you aren’t flawless. Don’t spend your life walking around with your head down, in an attempt to avoid falling in love altogether. Don’t tell yourself you can’t handle it merely because you have other issues to deal with too. You deserve to be in love. You deserve to feel something other than the overwhelming feeling of thinking you’re not good enough. You deserve to be happy. And, regardless of what you tell yourself, you can handle it.
Don’t let it stress you out. Don’t let your mind turn it into a chore instead of a blessing. Being in love is the most natural thing in the world. It’s effortless. It just happens to you. Of course, once you form a relationship, you will have to start putting work into it. But you’ll be spending your time working on something that’s putting positivity back into your life.
Here’s what you need to know: you’re still going to be crazy after you fall in love. Love isn’t a cure for our problems. It doesn’t change our inner wiring and make us less insecure or less depressed or less anxious or less compulsive. You can’t rely on love to fix everything.
But what love can do is give you a reason to keep fighting. You’re always going to have that craziness inside of you – it’s part of what makes you whole. It’s part of what makes you you. You’re not going to fall in love and then see your inner craziness disappear. You won’t become less nuts. You won’t suddenly feel like nothing is wrong with you.
But you will have a strong reason to keep going. You’ll have something that makes you want to get out of bed every day and keep living and keep growing. You’ll have something that helps you appreciate the “crazy” parts of yourself, because they have molded you into the person that you are today and they have contributed to setting you on a path that included falling in love.
You’re not going to get better by trying to change yourself or fix yourself. Love is not a special pill or a magic answer that will chase all your “unappealing” personality traits away. You will get better and become happier by learning to accept yourself. You can be in love, without being perfect, by learning to embrace everything that sets you apart and makes you a little bit different. Not necessarily being thankful for your inner crazy, but being aware of where it’s gotten you. Being aware that it’s part of who you are and it’s shaped you into you. Because the only way to fall in love someone else is to learn to love yourself first.