26 Thoughts Everybody Has During Their Last Hour Of Work
By Kim Quindlen
1. What else can I eat to help me temporarily forget where I am?
2. Only 60 more minutes which is just two half hours, or just four 15 minutes, I can watch X many YouTube videos and be done, I can listen to X many songs and it will be over. Only 6 more 10 minutes to get through.
3. Tonight, I deserve to relax. I will put off starting my gym regimen until tomorrow.
4. I will also put off start my diet until tomorrow.
5. I will also put off doing 16 other things I’m supposed to do until tomorrow.
6. Future Me who’s already in the office because it’s tomorrow is so jealous of Present Me getting to go home soon.
7. I’m already sad about having to wake up and come back here tomorrow.
8. I can only stare at this spreadsheet and pretend to be contemplating it for so much longer.
9. Tonight I’m going to go grocery shopping, cook a couple of meals for the week, do my laundry, and organize my room. But actually, I’m going to do zero of those things.
10. I’m leaving the second after the first person gets up to leave. It’s always better to not be the first.
11. Should I pick up a bottle of wine on the way home from work?
12. I should.
13. Has anything happened in the last 7 hours or have I just not stopped staring at my computer?
14. I guess I could go to the bathroom to kill like 5-6 minutes of time.
15. If I was Beyonce I wouldn’t have to go into an office everyday.
16. I’d even be Solange if I could.
17. My favorite pair of sweatpants is in the hamper so I don’t even have that much to look forward to when I get home.
18. I wish I could dramatically stand up and march out of here forever while “Chandelier” plays in the background.
19. I’ve checked Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Gmail. And 2 minutes have gone by in that time.
20. Did I just fall asleep for 10 seconds or was that just time moving really slowly?
21. If I set fire to this place I could leave a little earlier.
22. Maybe I should walk to the kitchen, open the fridge, close it, and then walk back to my desk and see how much time went by.
23. Someone is paying me to sit here and think these things. So at least that’s a win for me.
24. Food. In my stomach. Soon.
25. The last 3 minutes of work are my favorite time of the whole day. I must savor them.
26. Bye.