11 Things To Know Before You Date A Bookworm

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1. Sometimes we just need to be alone for a little while. Nothing’s wrong. We’re not upset with you. We still love spending time with you. But we are accustomed to a certain amount of quiet time in our daily lives, and sometimes we just need to sit down with a good book for a few hours in order to feel refreshed and energized.

2. When you’re upset, sometimes our first instinct will be to suggest a certain a book. We’re not trying to be cold or unhelpful or pushy. We’re just trying to share a special piece of literature that has gotten us through some of our most difficult moments. Bookworms often have deep, emotional connections to many different books, so if we suggest a book to you, it means we really want to help you as much as we can. 

3. Discussing e-Readers is not a thing we’re interesting in doing. Please don’t tell us about how they’re so much more practical and convenient. Because we’ve been given this spiele a hundred times already. No matter what anyone says, nothing compares to the smell of a new book or the feel of turning the pages in your hands. 

4. If we mention a certain book that we love and then you read it of your own accord, it means more to us than you’ll ever know. It means a lot to know you listen to us and hold our opinion highly. But what we love more is that you have a thirst for knowledge and a desire to learn about the things that make us excited and passionate. 

5. We prefer gifts that have a lot of meaning behind them. It’s not always necessary to buy expensive earrings or fancy watches. There can still be a lot of thoughtfulness behind store-bought gifts like that, but we are just as happy with presents that are metaphorical and significant. We don’t care if you made it yourself and the total cost was under $10. If you put a lot of work into it and it has a special meaning in our relationship, we will absolutely love it. 

6. When we see your apartment for the first time, the first thing we will look for is your bookshelf or bookcase. It will be the first thing we gravitate towards and we will spend several minutes looking through your collection, trying to get to know you better. If you don’t have a single book in your apartment, we might be a little concerned. 

7. Letting you borrow a book is a huge step for us, and we will resent you if you don’t give it back. Books are amongst our most prized possessions. It doesn’t matter if we’ve already read it. You still have to give it back. Because we might want to read it a second time. Or a 17th time. 

8. “No but I’ve seen the movie” is the most depressing thing you could ever say to us. Just play it safe and say “No, I haven’t read that.”

9. Don’t feel pressure to talk about books that you think we’d find “impressive.” We don’t give a shit if you read Nietzsche or Thoreau. We just want to know about the books that make you feel something. If that’s Thoreau, then sure, tell us about it. But if it’s not, don’t feel the need to make something up. All we want is to hear your honest opinion about books that you really love. 

10. Reading quotes from our favorite book to you can be just as meaningful as the first time we tell you we love you. We cherish these passages and we cling to them like oxygen. The moment we’re willing to share these quotes with you can make us feel very vulnerable and uneasy, because they’re extremely personal to us. So be gentle, and don’t underestimate the importance of this moment to us. 

11. Being a bookworm doesn’t mean we only sit around reading Victorian novels. Sure, plenty of people like to do that. But a person’s love of reading is just as legitimate if they only stick to graphic novels or celebrity memoirs. So don’t ever discount our love of reading just because the genres aren’t taught in high school English classes. TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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