No matter where you go, no matter what you do, there will always be that feeling of loss. You are always going to miss someone, some place, and some feeling you had. Your bones will ache every time you leave somewhere because after all the years of coming and going, you’ve realized you will never come back to be the same person you left behind. You can’t help but constantly catch yourself staring blankly out the window, wishing you were somewhere else.
These are the difficulties that come along with being a wanderer. The kind of person that dreams of taking a few breaths in every city around the world. The person who dreams of leaving moments on every beach, mountain and safari they cross; carrying around nothing but memories in their tattered suitcase.
If you want to give people a space in your heart and if you choose to show people your entire soul, then be prepared for the gigantic heartaches that coincide with it. The problem with leaving your heart in so many places around the world is the feeling that you’re always missing something. You will never have a heart that beats full, no matter where you go. You will leave a little piece of your love with each and every one of these beautiful souls that holds a spot in your heart; it will constantly feel like you’ve stretched your core across continents and oceans.
Although you have been giving fragments of your heart away in every place you land, that little sparkle hiding behind all of that so-called “loss”, is simply a catch-22. The more you leave and the more you give away, the more ‘full’ you shall be. The more people you touch and the more hearts you leave footprints in, the more bliss your heart will beat. In order to feel the greatest pleasure one must endure the most pain; for you cannot see the greatness in the joy without the suffering from the sad.
So, let your heart stretch across oceans and let your tears fall from your face every time you go. Let your hellos and goodbyes be as precious as diamonds in the ocean. Let your hands linger with your loved ones for an extra minute before you pick up your suitcase filled with memories and fly off to the next spot. Throw your bags as you exit out of the arrival gates, and run as fast as you can into the arms of the other side of your heart. Let your tears come as they do, for the laughter can only take you so far. Your highs and lows are so mystifying, you can’t decide anymore if you’re crying because you’re so happy or because you’re so sad.
This is what you get for loving so immensely. This is what you must sustain for leaving your heart wide open. You will spend every single day missing someone and somewhere. Your mind will continuously wander off the edge of yesterday and leave you with a little glimmer in your eyes.
So, hold on to those moments and don’t waste a second you are lucky enough to have with someone you love! Don’t ever bite your tongue and let someone walk out the door without opening your deepest mind to them.
One day it might not be only an ocean or a continent holding you apart; it might be an entire sky full of stars stopping you from getting to them. Be that free spirited run-away and touch people’s souls everywhere you go. Maybe you’ll just lead yourself to the heartaches of missing people all around the world, but you will be filled with so much more than most; you will have a heart that stretches from Never-Never Land to Timbuctoo. That’s what you get for being a heart so open to loving.