The first moment I laid my eyes on this girl, I knew that there was something wrong. She had a sad look on her face and never seemed to look up. At that moment, I knew that something was going on. But I didn’t mind her, thinking that I’d be getting into business that wasn’t my own, so I respected her privacy.
But as the days passed, we got to know each other even more and we clicked, just like that. I had never gotten along with anyone at the rate we were going and I was happy being able to make a new friend, someone that I could relate to, someone that would understand the things that I was going through. But early on, I promised myself, “Don’t fall in love with her.”
Falling for you would have made things awkward and complicated. I wanted a friend, I wasn’t looking for someone to love me or someone to be with at the time. And for a few months, we became the best of friends, telling each other everything, leaving no stone unturned, no such thing as secrets and we left each other like an open book. But then, I realized something. Something was different, something was changing and it was then that I realized that I really was falling in love with you.
I asked myself why I was falling in love with you. I panicked because I thought I was going to ruin another great friendship of mine, I thought that I was going to lose a true friend. But the more I kept denying it, the harder I fell and the happier I felt every time we would talk or hang out. I just felt like everything in the world was right and where it should be. I realized that no matter how hard I tried to fight my feelings, the stronger they would become. There was just no running away from you, you had this hold on me that won’t let go and I feared the worst.
It was then that I decided to confess to you, to tell you how I really felt and maybe it would take some weight off of me. Telling you was probably one of the most awkward nights of my life. I tried being smooth about it, but you ended up not getting it at first so I just told you straight up. It was awkward at the start, but then you got used to it and for a few weeks, we were okay.
I went to the US for a month, I traveled and every single day, I missed you so fucking much. I knew that there was no turning back, I had fallen way too deep and I thought to myself that I’d end up hurting myself but I also thought that fuck, loving you has been the best decision I’ve ever made.
I ended up spending my birthday in the US and that was probably the best birthday I’ve had in years. I remember I was on a road trip going to Lake Tahoe and my mom opened up her hotspot so that I can say thank you to all the relatives that greeted me. It was about 6 a.m. in California while it was about 11 P.M. there in Manila. You called me through Facebook and you’ve been drinking wine all night and you were a bit tipsy. You greeted me with “Happy birthday” (which by the way was probably the cutest drunk greeting I’ve ever gotten) and said you had to tell me something. I had to ask you to repeat it because I couldn’t believe what you were saying. You said that you had feelings for me too, that you liked me. Man, what a feeling that was. I knew you didn’t love me yet, but hearing you say all those things to me, made me more determined to make you mine. I knew that what I had with you, I wouldn’t get again and I didn’t want to let you go, ever.
Fast forward and we ended up together. Damn, the day we got together was probably the happiest days of my life. I remember grinning so wide and kissing you like it’s the last thing I would do. I knew that you were a keeper, but I was too scared to admit it for fear that I’ll come off too strong. Instead, you were the first to tell me that. You drunkenly (you’re honestly really cute when you’re drunk) told me that you were thinking long-term with us and I told you that I also thought of the same thing. I’ll be honest, the thought of that scared me. It scared me because I had never thought of anyone that way, it was a first for me. But I knew that if I played my cards right, us happening would be the best thing to ever come into my life.
We were happy, we enjoyed each other’s company, spent every week together, fell in love with each other deeper each and every day. I’m not going to lie to you, it was hard too. Every relationship has its problems and we’ve had our fair share of them. I never expected us to be perfect from the beginning and I never wanted perfect. I wanted us.
Despite every fight we had, every petty argument, we always had each other’s backs and never left the other’s side. I remember the months you spent recovering from a really traumatic experience and each day, I wished that I could just take away your pain and just put that pain into myself just so you wouldn’t feel it anymore. But seeing you grow and mature into the person you are today, I’ve never been prouder of anyone.
We’ve been together for a year now. We’re still going strong, and right now I don’t think anything’s gonna stop us. Like I said, we’re not perfect, we’re always going to argue, and we’re always gonna have our disagreements, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’ve helped me grow as a person and you’ve helped me overcome a lot of my demons. I’m not perfect, I’ll never be, but I promise you that I’m gonna do whatever it takes to make sure that you’re happy every single day of your life.
I promised you long ago, I’d marry you and I know I will. I promised you that we’d have a family, you and me with three of our dogs. You are the absolute light of my life and the love I never thought I deserved. I love you with all my heart and soul and I don’t think anyone can ever replace you.
So before I end this, I just want to say, happy birthday, my love. I can’t wait to spend forever with you.