Forgiveness is a tricky creature.
When it comes to forgiving, we always tend to think of others, and their behaviors. We reminisce on the past, deciding if another person is worthy of compassion, if they are worthy of understanding and the potential of a second chance.
We view forgiveness as a selfless act, placing the emotions of others above our own.
Unfortunately, it seems to be human nature to place fault on ourselves for the damaging manners of others. We’re hurting because we allowed another to mistreat us, and punish ourselves at their mercy.
And here’s where I believe we’ve got it mistaken; we’re blaming the wrong person.
Forgiveness should be about us, and only us. Forgiveness shouldn’t be a selfless act, it should be completely selfish. We shouldn’t be forgiving others because they warrant a second chance, it’s because we merit happiness and freedom. It’s us who deserves a life without regret and guilt.
We owe it to ourselves to forgive others.
Naturally, we all make mistakes. We’re all human, trying to figure out the lessons of life. We fuck up. We do things we shouldn’t and don’t do things we should. Life is a learning curve, and we’re all just hoping the odds are in our favor.
Anger and resentment are lethal beings. When we cling on to frustration, we only hinder ourselves, robbing our own days of happiness and kindness. Holding on to such feelings only really takes away from our own contentment.
Guilt is unnecessary. Once we realize this guilt is pointless, we liberate ourselves from the prison of our own minds, breaking free from being held captive in an useless cell. Everything happens for a reason, and just because a specific purpose is not evident, does not justify this anger and resentment.
By this point, we’ve all accepted life is not fair, unimaginable events will happen with no apparent explanation. There is no rulebook to this life, nor are there any right or wrong answers. Life is fluid, constantly moving and turning in its own direction. We can try and decipher every possible reasoning and outcome, or we can accept the tides of existence.
It’s time we let go of all the things we can’t understand. And ultimately forgive ourselves, because we’re just doing the best we can.
Forgiveness is the first step towards moving on, and by far the most important ingredient.
So forgive others, but not for them, for yourself. Forgive others because you are deserving. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be liberated. You deserve to be free.
It takes true strength to be able to forgive someone who clearly isn’t sorry. It takes true beauty to pardon someone who hasn’t apologized for their wrongdoings.
Forgiveness says more about you than any other party involved.
Let go of all the pain and hurt someone else has cause you, not because their actions should be forgotten, but mainly because you deserve to be released from this ache.
We can’t control others. All we can do is control our reactions to their actions.
It begins with is rising above and being greater than the people who have tried to destroy us. Forgiveness is an attribute of a strong, resilient individual. Forgiveness is no deed of the weak. Only a person who does not love themselves finds the need to destruct others for their own personal benefit.
We are stronger than they will ever be.
So with that, be selfish with your forgiveness. Be selfish with your life. Do things solely for the sake of yourself, for the sake of your happiness.
Be reckless. Say all the things you ever wanted to say. Be brave with your life and finally do something meaningful.
Quit apologizing for your every move, justifying what does not need justification.
At the end of the day, forgive yourself for it all. Set yourself free. Release all the toxic things and negativity from your world. Forgive yourself for all your sins and mistakes. Forgive yourself because there is no need to unnecessarily tear yourself apart.
So many people out there will try and bring you down, why add yourself to this endless list?