What You Really Mean When You Blame All Your Problems On Love

Shanon Wise
Shanon Wise

We stomp around, raging in our hostility and resentment claiming, “Love sucks.” No my dear friends, love does not suck.

Rejection sucks. Disappointment sucks.  Dating sucks. Lying and cheating suck. Loneliness sucks. Heartbreak really sucks.

Love does not suck.

For it is the purest emotion of all. Love helps us get through the day, despite all of the above. Love outweighs rejection, heartbreak, and loneliness. Love is the only reason we put up with those behaviors in the first place. Love in itself does not suck. Everything that coincides with it does.

Although, love isn’t completely innocent. It can sometimes be blinding. Shielding us from seeing the harsh truth of our particular situation. Sheltering us to believe things are better than they realistically are. Blinding us from realizing it might be about time we reconsider some of our current relationships.

Then randomly, we have a moment of wholesome clarity. Sometimes out of nowhere. Sometimes initiated by a particular circumstance. Reality screams the truth, instead whispering its sneaky lies. Love admits it’s dirty little secret. Confessing its deceitful antics.

This short moment of clarity reveals nothing we already didn’t know. We known for quite some time now; we’ve had enough. Getting pushed to the point we decide enough really is enough. Once and for all, we are done. Finished. Defeated. Exhausted.

Let me guess, you just teleported back to that exact moment? Whether they were right in front of you, or you were on your own. Whether you have known each other for ages, or only a short period of time. Whether you were really in love this person, or just the idea of them. You just went back to at that awful moment where you knew everything has just changed. For better or for worst, maybe you’re still trying to figure that out.

That moment changes our entire path. Forcing us to turn left or right, when all we want to do is continue down that straight-open road. It’s that moment we find ourselves laying on cold hard floor. That moment where were grasping for air between every tear. It’s that dreaded moment of falling to our knees, because we have no other place to go. That moment we can physically feel the pain crafting new cracks upon our already broken hearts. It’s that moment that we realize everything we once knew is gone, leaving us with nothing but fear.

That moment is life changing. Forever altering. Frankly, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

And yes, that moment really fucking sucks.

Some people only take and take. We play along with them for a while, until we realize that we do not have anything left for them to rob from us. Once we stop allowing love to blind us from the truth. We wake up from our fairytale dream, and come to terms with the fact that things are not as good as we were pretending.

We become acquaintances with disappointment and heartbreak. Only to realize we do not enjoy their company. We gradually pick up the broken pieces. Carefully, to ensure we don’t get cut from all the sharp edges. Slowly, but surely, begin to pull ourselves together. Finally being released from the grasp of this other person.

We realize our self-worth. Putting ourselves first. Doing what is best for us, disregarding any one else. Especially, the one who drove us to this edge.

With time, we begin to realize that dreadful moment was a blessing in disguise. Without reaching that point, we wouldn’t be in the peaceful place we exist in now. If it weren’t for that moment, we wouldn’t have found happiness in ourselves or with another person.

We start to recognize that it is not love that sucks. That it is all of the risky factors that comes along with it that stinks. Love is what lifts us up every time we fall.

Love does not suck. It never can, and it never will. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Graduate of University of Oregon. Professional wandered and avid coffee drinker.

Keep up with Kiana on Instagram and kianaaziz.wordpress.com

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