The Fact Is I Miss You

You asked me to accept that we weren’t together anymore but how does anyone look at the sea and not search for the shore?

I miss you and my body aches as if your memory is a bruise that hurts everywhere. My skin is still the same color but my heart is turning purple because I keep trying to break it so that you don’t have to anymore.

I sit on my bedroom floor and listen to the songs we used to make love to and they sound just like you now. I keep listening till I fall asleep, I keep listening till I wake up with swollen eyes and a tear-stained pillow.

I know we were poles apart. I was the head and you were the toe. I was the north and you were the south. In between these realizations, I remember us meeting somewhere in the middle because we loved each other. So I wonder, on nights like these, why was it so easy for you to let me go?

And I am tired of writing poetry. I’m tired of trying to make sense of who we’ve become. I just want to go back to the days when the most difficult question was which movie to be played in the background while we kissed and kissed and kissed until our love drowned out every other sound except that of our beating hearts.

Today while cleaning a drawer, I found a piece of paper that had our names written on it together. My mind raced to the times we were young and free and love was a compliment to our hearts and not a death sentence. I missed you. I missed you like I miss the cold when the heat is unbearable, I missed you like I miss home when I’m far away from the city, I missed you like I miss nothing else but I’m glad that in some way, we are still together, even if its on a piece of paper, because knowing that we’re still together somewhere is what matters.

And I miss you.