This Is What I Mean When I Say I Miss You

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And when I say I miss you, I don’t do it out of mere saying, I think the word love or miss tend to get overused that they lose their meanings somehow. Maybe to a point that they became sentence fillers, when you know not what else to say.

I don’t say I miss you just to get a reaction from you. It’s not a sad attempt for attention from you, please know that I have never needed that much attention from anyone.

When I say I miss you, it wasn’t because I suddenly thought of you when I saw something that reminded me of you. Honey, you are my thoughts. I can barely differentiate my own mind and the force in my head that keeps wanting to bring you up, every time and everywhere.

When I say I miss you, it is not because it’s past midnight and I feel lonely. I respect you way too much to do that to you. I feel you just as much when I am around others, having the time of my life or when I feel out of place, hanging out with friends or family that I couldn’t relate with and I remember how easy it seemed for you to ‘get’ me.

I don’t say I miss you just because I accidentally overheard your accent in someone else’s voice. Or when I saw your simple name belonging to someone else. But honey, how I search for it, I miss your voice, I miss your voice, I miss your voice.

I say I miss you because it gets too much sometimes. I say I miss you when my heart felt heavily overflowed by the thoughts of you and I couldn’t contain it much longer. I don’t say I miss you to you so carelessly, as if it was the first thought of you I had that day. You are my thoughts. I only say it when its reached a certain threshold, when not saying it felt heavier than the weight that seemed to burden my heart nowadays. Making you uncomfortable was not my aim, forcing you to remember isn’t what I wanted.

But I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

With every second,

Every thought,

Every breath,

I miss you.