RomanceLove

Drunk Off The Idea Of Love

I’m sorry that I showed up to your party, a little too soon, and a bit too drunk off the idea of love.

I am quoting myself but I’m sure many will relate with this line that sums up my experience with dating up to date. Dating in 2019 is almost impossible to understand which makes it even more difficult to explain. Maybe that is why I remain silent when my parents, friends, and co-workers ask, “Why are you still single?”.

This is my attempt at explaining dating in our era. I believe that ‘single’ people fall into one of two groups: the singles that aren’t looking for anything serious but want to have fun and the singles that are looking for a real and long-lasting connection leading into a future together. Now here is where the problem lies; there isn’t a definite way to differentiate between those looking for love from those that are just looking for a good time. If only there was a way to swipe right on potential love and left on anyone who may waste your time.

The only way to determine what someone’s true intentions are is to communicate, and we all know that communication in our generation sucks. Often times we say what we think we should or what people want to hear. We say what our friends recommend us to say. We say what we need to say to keep the other person around. We say what we need to say in order to fulfill our temporary needs. We are only comfortable communicating through text messages and when we are afraid to say what we really want to say, we post subliminal messages on social media. We speak in an undecipherable code. We set high expectations and we assume based on blurred lines and miscommunication.

We waste time getting to know and opening up to people who are just planning to leave. Imagine opening up to a person just to learn that you aren’t even on the same page? That’s a tragic story indeed.

I believe in the art of being brutally honest. I respect the guys that have approached me stating that their intentions are sexual and nothing more. This way, I am able to quickly make a decision of whether I want to pursue any kind of relationship. I admire the individuals that admit to recent heartbreak and tap out of the dating game because they’re just not ready yet. I wish the best for those admitting to their need to heal. I relate to the hopeless romantics who clearly state their desire for a real connection that makes it past just a couple of months of random dates and texting. These are simple examples of clarity and effective communication.

I recommend that we all say what we feel with no regrets. It’s better to hurt someone with the truth than to comfort them with a lie. Let’s just say that dating would be ten times easier if we were better at communicating. I am sure I am not the only one that’s tired of being the “right one at the wrong time”.

One day I’ll be the right girl, in the right place, at the right time.

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About the author
I hope that my writing teaches you how to protect your peace. Follow Khadijah on Instagram or read more articles from Khadijah on Thought Catalog.

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