The Old Person’s Guide To Hip Young Modern Lingo

Lighthunter / (
Lighthunter / (
Good day to you, young readers of Thought Catalog. At ninety-six years of age, I am officially the oldest person ever to write for this website. Although I presume most of you are intimately familiar with the following terms, many people my age are bewildered, confounded, perplexed, and flabbergasted by them. It is my sincerest wish that this helpful guide will help us all “come together” and “bridge the gap” that often makes communicating with one another difficult. I hope none of the language herein offends you nearly as much as it did me.


Acronym meaning “as fuck.” Example: “Those pancakes were delicious AF.”


Noun. Term of endearment variously thought to either be a truncation of “baby” or an acronym meaning “before anybody else.”


Verb meaning that one is asking for trouble by their behavior. Example: “You are baiting those police officers by smoking a bong and blowing your marijuana smoke into their car.”


Adjective meaning that one does not care about what others think about them or their behavior.


Adjective meaning average, boring, or routine. A “basic bitch” is a female who is extremely average yet doesn’t realize it.


An affirmation or agreement. Example: “I’ve got the AK-47. You ready to go help me kill those motherfuckers”? “All right, bet.”

Blowing up (one’s phone, social media feed, etc.)

Abusing a medium of communication by overusing it.


A noun that used to be common in black culture denoting “brother” in a convivial sense but which has shamelessly been appropriated by Caucasians to mean a heterosexual male who is kind of a douchebag. Variants include “bra,” “breh,” “bruv,” “braj,” “Bromosapien,” “Brosephine,” “Bro Montana,” and “Bromosapien.” To give a “brojob” is to pull a prank on a fellow bro. An alternate term is “dudebro.” A “broshi” or “broshki” is a derogatory term denoting a masculine lesbian.

“Bye, Felicia”

A dismissive term used to get rid of someone about whom you don’t care a whit.


Noun denoting a female derriere.


Intoxicated, tired, used up, or sometimes all three.


A gun, especially an automatic one.


Short for “crazy.” The term “cray cray” roughly translates as “especially cray.”


Intoxicated on more than one substance.


Verb meaning to sexually reject someone or deny them the sexual use of your body for illicit pleasures.


Adjective meaning “uncool” or “not with it.” Example: “Your record collection of 1980s dance hits is so dad.”


Adjective meaning good, cool, great, tremendous. When referring to marijuana, it denotes an exceptionally potent batch.


Generic name used to denote a black male who is especially attractive to white females and has inordinate success in bedding them.


Short form of the word “though.” Example: “I ate the last donut, but I didn’t think it really mattered, doe.”


Adjective roughly meaning “cool,” “hip,” “neato,” or “peachy-keen.”


Acronym meaning “Formerly Fat Chick,” denoting a young woman who lost weight either through rigorous exercise, stringent diet, or excessive use of amphetamines.


Getting ready to do something. Short for “fixing to.” The Caucasian variant of “finna” is “gonna.”


Arrogantly showing off one’s skills or powers in a shameless and vainglorious manner.

Flippity floppity floop

An exceptionally colorful and alliterative phrase denoting one’s personal domicile.


Acronym meaning “Fear Of Missing Out.” It has nothing to do with homosexuality, or at least I don’t think it does.


Acronym for “Fat Upper Pussy Area,” a gelatinous and hanging wall of flesh on an overweight woman nestled directly above her procreative organ.


Acronym meaning “hard as a motherfucker.” It means to do something passionately.




Acronym meaning “hit me up,” which in layman’s terms has nothing to do with violence and instead means “Contact me at your convenience, will you?”

Iced out

Wearing lots of diamonds or fake diamonds that appear to the naked eye to be genuine diamonds.


A more decent and less offensive form of the word “shit.”

Jelly (or jelz)

Jealous. Envious. Player-hating. Seething with resentment. It is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.


The new version of “LOL,” AKA “laughing out loud.” The term “top kek” is the new version of “LMFAO,” AKA “laughing my f*****g a** o**.”

Mad brick

Very cold temperature-wise rather than emotionally. If it is “mad brick outside,” one would be wise to wear a parka before venturing out.


Having a grand time with you and your closest friends.


Relaxing in the manner that moss does when it sits around and lazily grows on a rock.

No chill

Ironically, it means being uncool. I don’t understand why.

On fleek

A newer, hepper, sassier version of the urban phrase “on point,” which means something is as it should be. If a girl has prepared her eyebrows in an alluring and sensuous manner, her eyebrows are said to be “on fleek.”


A derogatory term usually denoting a female with loose morals and who may not even be a virgin.


Defeated. A newer version of “pwned.” More extreme variants include “Tyrannosaurus Rekt” and “Shrekt.”


Acronym meaning “right now,” which is confusing to Registered Nurses across the country.


Mad, angry, defensive, whiny, upset, and generally poopy-headed.


Fearless, brave, and willing to take risks. Example: “When Tarnell jumped over that police car on his skateboard, it was totally savage.”

Shoot the club up

To deposit one’s sperm inside a woman’s vagina at the culmination of the act of sexual intercourse.

Sleepin’ on

To be unconcerned and unaware during a potentially dangerous or life-threatening situation.


Acronym meaning “shaking my head.” A more extreme and profane version is “SMDH,” which means “shaking my damn head.”


One’s group of friends. Formerly known as “posse,” “crew,” “homies,” and “chums.”

Stay in your lane

A derisive phrase meaning, “You are beneath me, and I would prefer that you do not trouble me with your inferior life and petty problems, thank you very kindly.”

Streets ahead

Advanced far beyond one’s competitors.


Noun meaning “sweaty ass.” The “sw” prefix can also be used in other contexts. For example, “swoobs” and “swalls.”


To avoid or dismiss someone. A more modern version of saying, “Get the heck out of here.”


An acronym meaning “to be honest” and used exclusively by people who are usually liars.


Something that’s currently trendy. Example: “Country line dancing is no longer a thing.”


Desperate either emotionally and/or for carnal intimacy.


An acronym meaning “that ho over there,” which is used to signal a woman of ill repute within one’s vicinity but not within earshot.

Throwing shade

Insulting a person in a way that they don’t even realize it.


A portmanteau formed by fusing the words “true” and “real” as if they were numbers and you had multiplied them together.


Extremely intoxicated. Example: “Dan and Justin drank a case of beer together while waiting for a pair of girls who never showed up, leaving them alone and turnt.”


An acronym for “you only live once,” a lesson that becomes more frighteningly clear to me with each passing day. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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