Breathe in. Everything is going to be alright. Breathe out. You’ve got this.
Breathe in. The best is yet to come. Breathe out. You’ll come stronger out of this.
Breathe in. He’ll give you beauty for ashes. Breath out.
For the biggest part of my life, I felt like my life was falling apart. Everything around me seemed to crash down. The only thing I could do was watch and let it break me.
I grew up in an abusive household, where everyday was unpredictable. I had no idea what would take place from one day to the next. Because of this I’m a very big, no, I’m a huge perfectionist. When I was younger I tried to do everything perfectly. Because that would mean my parents wouldn’t be angry. The sad thing was that my parents were angry most of the time, even if I had done everything right.
That, right there, made me feel like a failure.
I had no control over what was going on at home, so I tried to control everything around it.
My grades? Perfect.
The way other people looked at me? Perfect.
Jogging a few kilometres? Perfect.
But what if something didn’t turn out perfectly? Well, I either had a mental breakdown or tried to do it again with excellence.
This is no way to live.
Trying to be perfect all the time tired me out. Slowly but surely my perfectionism turned into anxiety. I was afraid that if I failed in my behaviour, I would fail as a person. I have days I still feel these thoughts gnawing at me.
But now I can conquer these thoughts with truth.
- There is no such thing as a perfect person. We all make mistakes.
- The mistakes we make don’t measure our worthiness as a person.
You know, Jesus died for all that stuff. I rest in knowing that he died for my mistakes. We don’t have to be perfect because he is. We can’t be perfect and that’s why He came.
So, if you feel like your life is crashing down, like nothing makes sense anymore, if you feel like you had sorted everything out but nothing is going the way you planned…
Find your resting place, whether that is in prayer, outside in nature or with your favourite pet. Find that place that can give you rest like nothing else can.
Find it and let the atmosphere affect you. Find it and let your soul be refreshed.
I dare you to be at peace, and not in pieces.