1. We hang out when it’s “my turn” for his attention.
For months, I haven’t been invited to hang out with his friends. I’m no longer involved with his life, either at work or socially. It’s not like we even spend enough time together where he really needs a ‘break’ from me. When its my turn, if I’m lucky, I get dinner (or I buy dinner). Maybe we watch some T.V. together. We fuck. We sleep. He’s told me multiple times that he has so many things/people that need his attention. I guess he can’t multitask.
2. He doesn’t believe in vocally admitting emotion or affection.
I get it. ”Men don’t show emotions”. But, really – get over it guys. You can be a manly man and still tell me you love me. You can still be a “bro” and let me know you miss me. In retrospect maybe its not the lack of communication that is the problem. See #3
3. He doesn’t actually love me.
Or miss me. No – he misses the sex sometimes, the blowjobs. That’s pretty clear. He doesn’t think about me on a whim. Nothing remind him of me. I couldn’t be further away in his thoughts.
4. He makes me believe I’m always wrong.
Because of this, I’ve come to hate and doubt myself. I try to do everything I can to make him happy. It’s what I do. And when that one thing I thought would bring a smile to his face ends up with him giving me the silent treatment, it makes me want to kill myself.
5. Most importantly, I want more than he wants to give me.
I have to take some responsibility here – my expectations in a “relationship” are obviously too high. And I’m the only person to blame when I feel hurt that these expectations aren’t met.