5. “Oh my god, look! No hands!”
Networks take note and send me a cut if you use my ideas!! Or at least a t-shirt…I don’t know.
3. Not Always Being the Designated Spider Killer.
These are the things that dudes are doing that just INSTANTLY let me know it’s not happening. Not for the long haul or even for one night. #sorrybro
My shirt is from a donut shop — a hipster donut shop, yes, but still. Who wears a donut shop shirt to the gym? Me, that’s who. God they’re like horses they can smell my fear, they know I don’t belong.
Make mistakes, take chances and *cringe* dye your hair if you feel like it. Just live. Because life is too damn short. Just don’t ever pierce your tongue, no matter how cool you think it looks.
Hard alcohol, whiskey and vodka, specifically, render me useless. I will not be myself for at least 24 hours and should just be left alone.