Some Very Specific TV Role Models

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Lucille Bluth from ‘Arrested Development’

It might seem strange to have a convicted felon/functioning alcoholic on a list of role models, but if I end up 10% as confident and able to not-give-a-fuck as Lucille Bluth when I get older, I’ll have won. Being able to continuously saunter around my beautiful apartment in a brocade pantsuit while lazily holding a martini sounds like my ideal future if I’m being real. Plus her truly “no fucks given” attitude and ability to take out Judy Greer in a drinking contest are both qualities/skills I think would I like to have.

Quinn from ‘UnReal’

The level of control that Quinn maintains over everything and everyone on UnReal is my desired aesthetic. I’m admittedly more of a Rachel but one day I would like to morph into a badass bitch swan and be able to snap my fingers and make everything happen in 2 seconds flat. And do so without worrying that I’ll mess up my perfect bangs.

Julie Cooper Nichol from ‘The O.C.’

Some people look at JCN and see a gold digger, I see a woman who knows exactly what she wants and isn’t afraid to get a little dirty in order to get it. Some people roll over and just accept whatever hand is dealt their way, Julie Cooper Nichol says fuck it to the hand and reshuffles until she’s sure she can see her way to a win. Plus anyone who can regularly pull off leopard print has clearly has figured out something I haven’t.

Jennifer Barkley from ‘Parks and Rec’

It’s interesting to me that a woman who knows exactly what she wants, is unapologetic about how good she is at her job, and sets her own rules is seen as almost a “villain.” Oh wait no it’s not, society!!! I love Jennifer Barkley. I aspire to have her drive, her one-liners, and her hair. I don’t care if she was supposed to be unlikeable because I feel in lOvE with her.

More! Working! Women! Who! Love! Their! Careers! Like! A! Partner! Please!

Cristina Yang from ‘Grey’s Anatomy’

Earlier this week one of my friends sent me a ranking of every couple from Grey’s and we both DIED because #16 was Cristina Yang and Surgery. My favorite thing about Cristina Yang (other than…everything) is that she refused to compromise on what she wanted. Even when she loved someone so much, she never—even for a SECOND—lost sight on either her love for herself or the things she wanted for herself. And if that doesn’t make someone a goddamn role model I’m not sure what does.

Colleen Donaghy from

’30 Rock’

Someday when I’m older, I would like to call an NBC page by the wrong name while wearing a fabulous hat for an entire day and see if he ever is brave enough to correct me.

Kris Jenner, Matriarch from ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’

Say whatever you want about the Kardashians, I truly don’t care. If you don’t think Kris Jenner is one of the most brilliant minds in business today, you’re delusional. That woman made a billion dollar industry out of practically nothing. She gave us American royalty. And in between it all, she managed to hide her youngest daughter’s pregnancy from the entire world. The Devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder.