I don’t know how to intro this because I’m very angry.
So before I start yelling, take a look at this:
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20 slimdown diet tips! 1. anxiety disorder * 2. resultant constant nausea 3. an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny 4. constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future 5. abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus * 6. baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through smail mail 7. watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains 8. finally realizing superheroes aren't real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they'd handle this) 9. marching your ass off 10. a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge 11. sleeping 19 hours a day 12. realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut 13. worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don't 14. realizing who ya real friends are 15. having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved) 16. bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency * 17. having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com 18. keeping your back arched against the wind 19. um, who the fuck cares? 20. I have no tips I give no tips I don't want to be on this cover cuz it's diametrically opposed to everything I've fought my whole career for and it's not a compliment to me because it's not an achievement thanx * Star indicates a pre-existing condition
And take this beautiful blurb into consideration from the Daily Mail:
“Lena Dunham proved the Trump diet is working a treat as she showcased her incredibly slimline new frame at the opening of mentor Tracy Anderson’s studio in New York on Wednesday.”
Basically, Lena Dunham is (to our unknowing assumption because we’re not privy to what the tags in her jeans read because it’s none of our fucking business) wearing a different size lately. And apparently, while 24 million Americans are at risk for losing their healthcare and unarmed children are being shot in parks and one in four women are raped on college campuses, that’s news!
Here’s the thing, I get why we love celebrity culture and quote unquote “celeb news.” I do. In a very weird (when you think about it) way, it’s escapism. It feels like turning on Bravo and seeing an extension of your favorite reality show. We’re detached from them enough because we don’t actually know them, but we have enough details that we feel like we’re allowed to have an opinion.
And while I get it, I also get why that’s 50 shades of fucked up.
Because celebrities, no matter how zany or wacky or weird they are, are human beings.
And using human beings and their actual lives for escapism, isn’t okay.
Especially when we’re talking about something that is literally none of our goddamn business.
And someone’s body is absolutely, none of your goddamn business.
The 2016 election and aftermath was and is a very emotional time for a lot of people. And no, that doesn’t mean that the “snowflakes” are still looking for safe spaces get a new joke oh my god. I mean that the outcome and the changes in administration having been weighing heavily on people’s minds and creating an energy shift that was absolutely less than ideal for some 63 million of Americans.
And if you’re not personally aware from experience, emotional shifts can 1010% have physical effects.
So yes, some people as a result of being thrust into particularly stressful situations end up losing weight.
And maybe (even though again, you’ll never know unless you are the scale in her bathroom because that’s not. your. body,) Lena Dunham was one of them.
But there are others, who you will know this time because congratulations I am telling you, who might gain weight.
Since November I think it’s safe to say I’ve probably put on about ten pounds. I’m not sleeping very well and that has resulted in midnight snacking I didn’t used to do. I’m extra stressed so that means pouring a third glass of wine I didn’t used to have on a random Wednesday. And since I’m sleeping less that means waking up at 6:30 to go running is more difficult and less appealing. So all of the coupled with the stress eating and a lack of motivation that I haven’t seen in a while has without question, changed my body.
I noticed it today while wearing a tank top for the first time since last summer. My breasts have considerably more sideboob than I’m used to and suddenly, I’m very self-concious of my upper arms. The sides of my ribs are far less prominent than they were last June and there are little baby stretch marks that peek out on the sides of my hips.
What I’m saying is, this “Trump Diet” isn’t a “fix” we should be cheering on. Because the “stress and anxiety diet” (what they really mean by that bullshit term) looks completely different on everyone.
And critiquing a person’s body in any way shape or form isn’t fucking okay.
Yes! Even if you think you’re complimenting them!
What you’re really doing by commenting on someone’s body is saying, “I deserve to have thoughts about how you look and here’s why you should listen to them.”
And sorry not sorry, but you fucking don’t and no.
If it’s helpful, here are some things you could say to someone instead of, “Wow! You’ve lost weight!”
- “How have you been lately?”
- “What are you currently working on?”
- “How’s life? Honestly?”
- “What projects are you invested in at the moment?”
- “What’s up?”
Basically, we all need to stop assuming that the changing shape of someone is something we have an inherent right to comment on. Because, again! We don’t.
We have absolutely no idea what that person, who is a goddamn human being, is going through that could be contributing to their outward appearance. So commenting on it, and talking about it? All it does is make us look like dicks. So we should stop, right? (Right.)
People’s bodies are (say it with me once more) none of our goddamn business.
And honestly, don’t you have something better to talk about?