1. Jumping into a conversation tell a HILARIOUS story about something your dog did when people were clearly (most likely) talking about their human children. But you have pictures too! Again…of your dog.
2. Realizing you’ve been Googling things that could potentially be wrong with your dog for several hours when nope, they just ate a stick and barfed it up on the floor.
3. Coming to terms with the fact that a good 87% of your clothes are completely covered in hair and that this is your life now and is how it’s always going to be.
4. Trying to flirt with a cute stranger at the park or walking home only to realize you’re holding a literal bag of shit in your hand.
5. Realizing all of the “rules” you said you’d enforce (ie: no dogs on the couch, dogs sleep in their own bed, no sharing food, no begging etc etc) have gone COMPLETELY out the window and now, the dog rules the roost.
6. Having to endlessly apologize or just be like, “Well, sorry! She’s a dog!” when your dog does something bad like jumping on someone, drooling all over someone, or barking at a baby.
7. Discovering your dog can (and will) do things like open your underwear drawer, climb on counters for snackage, or drink out of your nightstand water glass when they think you’re not around or not watching.
8. Seriously considering professional dog portraits because that’s how much you love them and want to display them around your home.
9. Spending a good 20 minutes before anyone comes over swiffering and vacuuming and still blushing when a little hairball tumbleweeds itself across the floor.
10. Becoming way too aware of the fact that almost all of your social media is just posts about your dog and how adorable/weird/silly/dog-tastic they are.
11. Leaving a pet store a good $200 poorer because “they deserve it.”
12. Having a minor panic attack at even the THOUGHT of having to live without your dog and then spending the next hour forcing them to snuggle you to make you feel better.
13. Realizing that if given the choice between having 10 more years with your dog and literally any of your other friends, you would without question choose the dog.
14. Using your dog as an excuse to not do things, to leave early, and to get out of situations…even though they are definitely fine and didn’t need you even a little bit.
15. Getting caught letting your dog lick your face or eat off your plate and having to pretend like that doesn’t happen literally every day.
16. Being unapologetically the “crazy dog parent” and loving ever fur-covered second of it.