45 Questions You Absolutely MUST Be Able To Answer Before Defining The Relationship

Defining the relationship is a HUGE step. It’s a step that in this day and age, we take about as seriously as we take our filtering preferences on Instagram or who to make our #wcw. But all jokes aside, it’s a scary and real moment that you should feel good about before actually making the decision to get serious with that person. Like it or not, defining your relationship is a big deal. And like all decisions, you should probably ask some questions before making it.


1. When you’re around them, how do they make you feel?

2. Are you excited about the possibility of them? Both on their own, and with you?

3. Do you feel like you can be yourself around them?

4. Would they lie to you?

5. Would you ever need to lie to them?

6. Are you comfortable in their home?

7. Are you comfortable around their friends?

8. Do they get along with your friends?

9. Would/will you be nervous in a less than positive way to introduce them to your family?

10. Do they respect you?

11. Are you proud to be seen with them in public?

12. Can you hang out sober and still have just as much fun?

13. Do you feel like you have to put on an “act” to be cool enough for them?

14. Are you compatible in bed?

15. Would you be comfortable trying new things with them? (Both sex and otherwise.)

16. Can you tell them no and know they’ll respect that?

17. Do you feel like they listen to you and really hear you?

18. Can you laugh together?

19. Are you able to be vulnerable with them without feeling judged?

20. Do you have the same (or similar) values?

21. Do you feel like being together will positively impact your future selves?

22. Can they keep your secrets?

23. Do they make you a priority?

24. Do they make sure you know you are important to them?

25. Do the two of you have fun together?

26. Are you ready to be in a relationship?

27. Are they?

28. Can the two of you disagree and fight in a healthy way?

29. Would they be willing to compromise with you?

30. Would you be willing to compromise with them?

31. Can you share your trauma and baggage with them without fear?

32. Would they be able to be there for you emotionally if faced with crisis?

33. Are you both in a similar mindset as far as kids are concerned? Or is at least something you can talk about?

34. Do you respect what they have to say and take them seriously?

35. Are you attracted to them romantically and sexually, as well as emotionally?

36. Do you make each other want to be better people?

37. Are you scared that they will want to leave if things get tough?

38. Do you both deal with conflict well? Are you able to disagree without it being earth shattering?

39. Is being with them a highlight of your day?

40. Are they helpful in motivating you with your goals?

41. Do you value their opinion?

42. Do they inspire you?

43. When you think about yourself in the future, do you picture them there too?

44. Can they point out when you’re wrong?

45. Do they make you happy? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Kendra Syrdal


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