Thought Catalog

What Your Self-Imagined Role In A Stereotypical Family Sitcom Says About You

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The Mom

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You’re constantly worried about everyone except yourself. There’s definitely been an instance where at a restaurant your order was totally screwed up and you didn’t even notice because you were making sure everyone else was hunky-doory. You’re the friend who gets a text that says something like, “can’t make brunch. sick :(” and you’re on your way over with ingredients to make chicken and dumpling soup with a season of Project Runway in tow. In the grand scheme of things you could probably use some more “you time” but you really, genuinely love taking care of people.

You’ve also definitely licked your finger to get something off of someone’s face. Don’t worry — your secret’s safe here.

The Lovable Dad

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You may not always have a clue what’s going on (seriously how does Face Swap work because I cannot figure it out) but you’ve definitely got everyone’s back. You are the person who can maintain a very necessary level of chill when everything is going to shit. You’re just hear to keep the peace, make some puns, and potentially drink a beer before sunset. You are who everyone quietly aspires to be and are absolutely the most likable one of your #squad.

The Hot One

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You are the person everyone else relies on to know what’s cool and what’s out. You’ve never actually paid a cover fee in your life and constantly get “can I shop your closet?” texts Thursday – Sunday. Your Instagram game is so fire that you didn’t even have to do the panicked “turn on notifications!” desperate plea because you KNOW you’ll still rake in those likes.

The Smart One

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You definitely were the kid who wore fake glasses in elementary school and actually WANTED braces because you thought they were super cool. You’re the person who said something about grammar in your Tinder profile. If it wouldn’t mean being up until 3/4 AM you would absolutely still be a “wait in line for the midnight” premiere person….okay, okay. You totally just chug 5-Hour Energy shots so you can still hang at the premieres despite being out of high school.

The Drunk Aunt/Uncle

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You find cash bars at weddings personally offensive and are without a doubt the person that underagers ask for a hook up.

The One Who Requires Supervision

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You don’t like the term “clutzy” or “accident prone”…but you have to admit that it’s kind of true. You’ve sustained at least one substantial injury that happened in a truly embarrassing/bizarre way. Like almost cutting your pinky off while slicing an avocado. Or getting a black eye from falling off of a barstool. No matter what the precarious situation is, everyone around you in generally concerned about your safety. And, well, with good reason.

The One Who Is Wise Beyond Their Years

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You can’t wait until you are old enough to say, “When I was your age…” Some people call you a stick-in-the-mud, but you prefer to simply call yourself an old soul. Why go to a sweaty bar when you could stay in and watch HGTV while making bruschetta?! So many times you have looked around at your group and just ended up shaking your head at the pure tomfoolery of it all. Kids these days, amirite?

The Baby Of The Family

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You give off a vibe that just says “please take care of me!!!!” and everyone wants to take you under their wing. Sometimes it can feel a tad belittling, but you’ve learned to play it to your advantage. You absolutely feel no guilt in bringing out the puppy dog eyes to get what you want. But, while you may be a little spoiled, it’s not all fun and games. Guess who always has to sit in the middle seat on car rides? YEP. You.

The Drama Queen

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You. Can’t. EVEN.

Whenever someone has been asked to do an impression of you they end up clapping for emphasis at some point in the midst of their heated rant. You are pretty open about your love for gossip and pride yourself in have at least one (OKAY, three) catchphrases. You’re 99.9% sure that should a producer from Bravo every come across you on even a typical Tuesday, you will be given a reality show on the spot.

The All-Knowing Elder

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Let’s face it, everyone else is dumb as rocks and you are the only one with a clue as to what’s going on. But rather than yell about it or get heated, you prefer to maintain a quiet, stoic sense of knowledge. You know that eventually everyone will come to you and you get to sagely nod and say your favorite sentence: “I told you so.”

The Weird Neighbor

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No one is quite sure how you ended up in the circle of friends/family or really, what purpose you serve…but you’re just happy to be included and hope that they’ll let you stay.

The Family Dog

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Let’s face it. You’re everyone’s fave. TC mark

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    • http://davidmilbergklein.wordpress.com davidmilbergklein

      This is hysterical!

    • https://brenicojayblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/01/what-your-self-imagined-role-in-a-stereotypical-family-sitcom-says-about-you/ What Your Self-Imagined Role In A Stereotypical Family Sitcom Says About You | Lifestyle Writing
    • https://lifemusicbeautylove.wordpress.com/2016/04/03/drunk-auntdrama-queen/ Drunk Aunt/Drama Queen – lifemusicbeautylove

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