I admittedly have not been a relationship in a long time. It’s not because I don’t date; it’s for a myriad of reasons that have been talked about and explored in several pieces on the internet and over many cocktails with my friends. But whatever the reasons may be, I am sort of a perpetually single girl.
There are a lot of things that come up with being single that make dating, once you decide to do it, a little tricky. Maybe it’s simply getting used to another human being around you, or maybe it’s something a little deeper. The following are some tips and tricks for the other party if they end up in a relationship with a girl who’s been sans “plus one” for some time.
1. We can take care of ourselves but that’s not a bad thing.
We’ve gotten used to fending for ourselves and “looking out for number one” because, simply, we had to do so. There wasn’t anyone else to kill the spiders or to help us put the fitted sheet on the bed. We got used to filling out doctor’s information sheets without texting our mom about what our blood types were because when there’s just you, that’s all you can rely on. That doesn’t mean we don’t want you to be there to help us, it just means sometimes you’ll be on the way to replace the showerhead and we’ve already done it ourselves.
2. We’re probably going to suck to sleep with.
I don’t mean the sex part of sleeping with someone, I mean the actually passed out part. Think about it. We haven’t had to share the bed with anyone for a while and therefore, have developed an alone sleeping routine. I’m sorry about all of the kicking and blanket hogging you’re about to subject yourself to but hey, it comes with the territory.
3. Our friends are our family and you have to deal with it.
Single girls have been ditched so many times for boyfriends or girlfriends and have been the shoulder to cry on for a while and that’s probably not going to change. There will be times where you’re on your way over for some Netflixing & Chilling and when you show up, there are two girls you didn’t expect to see struggling to open a bottle of wine in the kitchen and arguing about Scandal. Look at the silver lining: you have an IN when your girlfriend is mad at you if you get in good with them. They know her better than anyone and want to see your relationship thrive. So help them open the chardonnay and trust me, they will help you out when the time comes.
4. She’s going to split the bill. But she still likes you.
She is not going to expect you to pay for everything. She’s been paying for her own tacos and drinks for some time now and doesn’t expect that now that you’re here she doesn’t have to. Just let her. She still wants to get weird later.
5. It will probably be a while before you meet the parents.
Once your mom says, “Oh god another one?!” when you bring up someone you’re casually seeing, you tend to wait for someone truly special before bringing them to a family cookout. Just wait it out. You’ll get to grill with her dad (while being GRILLED by her dad, if you know what I mean) eventually.
6. Yes, she has a lot of stuff; No, you should not mess with it.
It’s been just her for so long that yeah, she’s probably accumulated a bunch of things because there was no one else to buy the couch or the slow cooker. If she wanted to make chili, she had to buy the pot. But don’t start suggesting you’d like a drawer and there’d be room if she got rid of some sweaters. It’s pushy and will probably push you away.
7. She will have no problem talking to strangers.
When you go on a lot of dates, you figure out how to have actual, real conversations with people. This translates to anywhere and everywhere. The Uber driver, the bartender, the random lady selling essential oils at the market. Consider yourself lucky because she will never be the awkward one sitting in the corner on her phone at your company party.
8. It may take a while for her to truly let you in.
Yep. We’re getting deep for a second. Face it, she’s been single for a reason and she is most likely expecting that you won’t always be around. She doesn’t want to break down those single girl walls only to have you bounce in four weeks. Once she honest to god believes that you aren’t going anywhere, then she’ll start to peel away the layers. Just be patient. Because once she does, she’ll never leave your side.
9. Dying alone jokes are only funny when we make them.
You didn’t save us from spinsterhood, you didn’t white knight us. You asked us out and we said yes. Moving right along.
10. She knows you like her, but she’s going to wonder why for a while.
She likes herself, she’s had to because it was just her. It’s not a sign of not being confident it’s just that weird, “Wait he ACTUALLY likes me?!” amazement that comes initially. It won’t last forever, but for a little while she’ll probably think you’re a figment of her imagination. She’s checking your pulse while you’re sleeping because she cares.
11. Trust takes time.
Like with any friendship and relationship, romantic or otherwise, it’s going to take time for her to trust you. Don’t expect it overnight. But once it comes, congratulations. You’ve landed yourself a girl who will be fiercely loyal, never expect you to change a light bulb for her (got that stepstool for a reason), and be really excited every time you text her back.
12. Sorry about all the condoms.
At least you don’t have to buy them?