7 Disney Movies Reimagined For 20-Somethings

1. Snow White and the Seven-Floor-Walk-Up.

Premise: A doe eyed, innocent gal moves to New York with big dreams and empty pockets. She answers a Craigslist ad for a “Bright room for rent — lots of natural light!!!!” and finds herself living with a bunch of dudes in a seven-floor walk-up with no AC and only one bathroom. Are they all legal tenants? Absolutely not. But they give her her own room when she promises to make breakfast every morning, and for the most part they’re good about knocking. Eventually they bond and have a whole roster of inside jokes and nicknames for each other. Hilarity ensues while she teaches them the basics of things like flossing and not leaving on the gas stove overnight, and while they teach her about the metro system and the cross streets to avoid after dark.

2. Sleeping Blackout Beauty.

Premise: Aurora goes to a party to celebrate her 21st and, after accidentally mixing Xanax with champagne, she hits the deck and passes out for the next eighteen hours. The rest of the movie does not focus on her, but rather the shenanigans that take place around her at the party. Three bitches are caught in the same outfit and end up in a war of words in the bathroom – even though the outfits are not even in the same color family but *WHATEVER*. Twitter explodes over Philip, who couldn’t find Aurora, and ended up dancing with another girl. Meanwhile Aurora is just left on her side to sleep it off. When she wakes up with a hangover and some serious bedhead, she’s met with a slew of text messages.

3. Tinderella.

Premise: Shy girl Cinderella is coaxed (read: heavily forced) into downloading Tinder by her two manipulative and bratty stepsisters. They steal her phone — Cindy is WAY too trusting with her passcode — and message guys without her knowing when she isn’t around. Tables turn when Cindy gets a little push from a fairy godmother of sorts (re: the crazy naturopath next door who no one complains about because she’s nice and shares her produce) and ends up going out of with one of the guys her step-sisters have been text flirting with. Sparks fly and a whole make out montage happens to a Taylor Swift cover.

4. The Hipster King.

Premise: After a huge falling out with his family involving the death of his father (which no, would NOT happen on screen because we all remember how traumatic the animated version was) and the very bizarre relationship between his mother and uncle, adolescent Simba takes off on his own. He befriends quite a few misfits, grows his hair out so it tickles his eyes, and spends a good chunk of the film sighing dramatically and saying things like, “You just wouldn’t understand.” When his childhood sweetheart runs into him at the farmer’s market while he’s munching on dried green beans and writing in his moleskin, Simba is reminded of his life back home and is forced to choose if hipster-dom is really his destiny.

5. Beauty and the Beat.

Premise: This movie has already been done and it is called Save The Last Dance.

6. Frozen (Accounts).

Premise: Orphaned when they were very young, Elsa and Anna have finally reached an age where they are allowed access to their trust funds and the vast, Scandinavian wealth that was left for them by their family who probably descends from Vikings. Unfortunately their first order of business is doing too many lines of “snow” in the bathroom and making complete fools of themselves at a big, social event. Their last remaining family member (Let’s go with a Grandmother. Grandmothers are always good at laying down the law.) decides that until the girls can show they’re responsible, well-adjusted adults, they will have 0.00 access to the family money. They try to tell her to chill out and just let it go, but Grandma is NOT having it. Think The Simple Life but as a full-length, feature film.

7. Peter Pan Syndrome.

Premise: Annoyed with her very predictable life that has gone oh-so-according-to-plan, Wendy takes an unexpected semester off from college to “find herself.” Along the way she meets Peter, a dude who sleeps in hammocks, never wears shoes, has a dog that has never worn a leash, and just generally does exactly what he wants when he wants. As their relationship grows, Wendy is forced to really examine herself and to reevaluate what she wants out of ~LiFe~. This would be the type of movie that would absolutely premiere at Sundance and have a soundtrack that Tumblr kids would say “SPOKE TO THEM,” and would then wield into gifs with the hashtag “relationship goals.” Even though real relationship goals should include a roof and a savings account.