The Men Of The Walking Dead And Whether Or Not You Should Sleep With Them

I really need to watch less TV.

The Governor

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

Ummm…..if this is someone that interests you at all I feel like I need to call your closest friends and family and have an intervention. Let’s be real—this guy is a serial killer waiting to happen. He keeps animated trophies of things he kills in an aquarium. Does that sound like boyfriend material to you? I’m seriously hoping it was a residual NO because if someone says yes I’m moving to Argentina. He gets a shred of points for manipulation. You would be LYING if you said he didn’t get you too.

Bangability – 0.3/10

Tyreese

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

I’m not really one for “cure fucking” and TyTy has been through a trauma. I think he would absolutely be the guy who would need to go outside to the garden and think about the future all “Namaste” like but only after ya’ll were through. Tyreese would be the jackrabbit, all-about-him style for probably around twenty minutes until he came to his senses and then while still forceful, he would take care of business. He carried a baby through the woods – bro has got some skills.

Bangability – 6.5/10

Merle

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

Unless you’re into amputee fetishes no, just no.

Bangability – 0/10

Zack

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

Zack would be like if the model from the American Eagle catalog came to life and asked him to screw her. He’s gonnna say yes, obviously. But Zack would have no idea what to do other than move his hips exactly how his frat brothers told him. It’s up to you to teach him about circles, thumb placement, and the glory of foreplay. Not always someone’s favorite thing to do BUT…think off all the good you’re spreading.

Bangability: 5/10

Hershel

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

I never want to get married again, especially for wedding gowns. It just seemed like too much so I decided to make notices and get the ball rolling. ☺

Bangablitity: Not, he just wants to help people. He is a doll.

Dale

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

I mean…are you looking for a shred of morality and hoping it’s just singing to you? Do you really want her to have a gimp leg and a beard to hold onto? She’s a woman…for christs sake….

Bangability: 5.5/10

Rick

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

I know Rick would enter with the best of intentions, a game plan. But they he would be two far left when he went down on you and would only know how to do missionary and doggy. I also feel like Rick would be the guy who would try to “surprise” you with butt stuff. Rude. Another hashtag rude.

Bangability: 3/5 stars. I blame Chelsea. Always Chelsea.

Glenn

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

Glenn would take his time with you. He would make sure there was no hay sticking in uncomfortable places, no hang ups from exes anywhere. In a lot of ways I think Glenn is the perfect sexual conquest or call and he won’t get offended. Skill.

Bangability: 4/10 Stars!!

Shane

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

I have extremely complicated feelings about Shane. Like…yeah I know he’s a terrible person but I just want to talk about clothes and try on sweaters in peace. Shane and you would have the crazy, volatile sex that would keep you coming back – cursed necklace or none.

Bangability: 8/10

Daryl

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

If there is ever a reason to praise AMC it is for creating a Daryl Dixon account. I mean…good for Daryl because he is fancy but also not great for me because of the list. Daryl would be fun, everyone knows and acknowledges that. But he won’t text you and you’ll wonder why and I don’t want to be yet another explanation into how his brain works. Sorry not sorry.

Do I have to meet your parents? Are you sure?

(I made it work but I’m sure you’ll love them.) TC mark

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