8 People On The Unconventional Way They Picked Someone Up

This piece could alternatively be titled “Embarrassing and Shameful Things People Have Done in the Name of Trying to Get Laid”. All of us are at least a little bit Joey, or Barney or some other sitcom character whose entire personification seems to be revolved around their next conquest. Whether or not you choose to admit that out loud is up to you.
*Names have been changed. Except for mine because, well, I have no shame.
Alagich Katya
Alagich Katya

“I’m absolutely not too proud to admit I have given my number (both drunk and sober, I’m not gonna lie) to at least 4 Uber drivers and 1 Postmates delivery guy. Now have any of them called me? Only one and if you thought it would be weird, you were right. I guess I just look at those apps and think of them like Tinder, but with a service attached. You get to meet a hottie and you get Chipotle delivered. It’s was at least a 50% win.” – Kendra, 25


“I had a friend come back from rehab and tell me about all of the ridiculously attractive people she met while in treatment. I didn’t know if this was just her because I’m pretty sure she was in like…a rich kid rehab but I was curious so I went to an NA meeting and sat in the back just kind of taking it all in. She was totally right – super hot girls – and I left with six phone numbers.” – Megan, 23


“When I was new to Seattle I still had my old driver’s license for a couple of months from when I lived in Idaho. A lot of bouncers would think it was fake and one actually started quizzing me about the state because he was from there. Turned out we had gone to same college a couple of years apart and took the same classes, had the same professors, blah blah blah. I ended up writing my number on a coaster and giving it to him. One of my smoother moments.” – Jenna, 25


“I exploit my dog and it works 99% of the time. Once when I was at the dog park there was a girl going on and on about how important rescuing animals from shelters was. I told her about how rewarding adopting my dog was and fully made out with her for the next half hour and definitely hooked up with her later on. The secret: my dog is absolutely not a rescue.” – Connor, 26


“I used to work at a restaurant and every afternoon a bartender from a few blocks over would come in for a burrito before he went into work. I thought he was cute and we kind of had a flirting thing going back and forth. After about a month of this banter which included him Snapchatting me from a mutual friends phone while she sat at the bar where he worked. Well I decided to do something about it. I had the cook double wrap his burrito so when he unwrapped there was a message top of the inside wrapper saying “Now you can snapchat me yourself ☺” with my number.” – Zoe, 25


“While I was smoking outside of a bar a guy came out who was obviously in a wedding or something because he was in a full suit in a dive bar. I swept him off his feet by simply saying “I like your tie, is that a Windsor knot?”” – Cady, 24


“I was drinking with my friend at the bar and we were getting a little screenshot happy on Tinder. A guy sat next to us and did the glance over, eye roll when he saw we were Tindering. I asked him his opinion on the sad, sad guy we had been laughing at and gave him the power to swipe around. We ended up closing down the bar swiping together and making fun of the guys that kept popping up. Instead of meeting up with a match I went home with him. Thanks, Tinder.” – Nicole, 21


“I overheard a girl who was in the café I worked in talking to her friend about how she thought I was cute. The feeling was mutual; she was adorable. I waited until they had left, were about a half a block away, and I chased her down with one of the flowers we had in an arrangement on the counter and introduced myself. I’m nothing if not a sucker for Disney moments.” – Lance, 27 TC mark

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