The Hunger Games: College Edition

The Hunger Games
The Hunger Games

Hey Thought Catalog readers. I was able to contact some secret connections I have and got some direct lines from the script for the next Hunger Games, coming out in 2018. I can’t wait! Enjoy these never before seen lines from the movie. You can thank me in the comments below and like, swipe left, refollow and subscribe.

The Hunger Games: Catching Thirst
By: John Longhoradsj

“I volunteer! I volunteer as thirsty.”

“So you’re here to make me look pretty?” Lactose Evergreen asked, looking to Cinamé with tired eyes.

“No, I’m here to make you look thirsty.”

He walked to a wardrobe and opened it, revealing stacks and stacks of yoga pants.

Lactose was confused.

“It’s…it’s just yoga pants. Stacks and stacks of black yoga pants.”

He nodded.

“Exactly. If you want to win you need to make an impression. That means you need to look like you’ve either just got to or are coming from the gym at all times.”

“But I have a fashion sen-”

“There will be no time for that! This is about looking basic. So do as I say and you can win.”

***

“They just want a good show that’s all they want” Kale held Lactose’s shoulders and stared deep into her eyes, desperation was riddled in his gaze.

“There’s thousands of us, Kale, and about thirty percent come out,” she said.

“So just, take a couple of shots handed to you and maybe take your top off halfway through the night. If they have a bong, find one. Okay? You know how to chug.”

“What if they don’t have one?” Lactose asked, her body trembling in fear.

“You make one, okay? Show them how good you are.”

The Professors busted in, taking Lactose by the arms and leading her out She gave him one last hug.

“Take care of them, Kale. Whatever you do, don’t let them see my Facebook page!”

***

“Who’s that?” Lactose pointed to a guy with a longboard in his right hand and a starbucks in the other. He had on Jordans and ankle socks and a sleeveless shirt that read ‘party, weed, girls’ in bold pink letters.

“They are called careers.” Haywitch responded, “Do you know what that is?”

“From the District of Florida.” She replied.

He nodded.

“They train for years on how to be thirsty before they even get here, then they volunteer. By that point, they’re pretty lethal.”

She watched as the boy seemingly checked out his own arm muscle and flexed it.

Leftie Trinkett pitched in, “But they don’t get any special treatment, they are just as thirsty as you, and have to work just as hard to get laid.”

Lactose nodded, gaining more confidence by the day.

***

Haywitch took another swig of beer.

“You want to know how to stay alive? You get people to like you. Oh! Not what you were expecting. Well, when you’re in the middle of the games and you’re sober and horny, some vodka, a condom or even notes from last class can be the difference between life and death and those things come from sponsors. You need to make people like you. And right now, sweetheart, you’re not off to a great start.”

Lactose knew that if she was to win the thirsty games, the last ounce of dignity and self-respect she had must be thrown away. She cried in her room alone at the mere thought.

***

Pita Mellarky gazed out the window and Lactose did the same.

“I mean, I only keep wishing I could show Sigma Epsilon Omega Chi Tea Alpha that they don’t own me. That I am more than just a piece in their game. If I’m going to drown in debt after this… I still want to be me.”

Lactose shook her head and looked at him.

“I just can’t afford to think like that.”

***

5…4…3…2…1

Lactose stepped into the arena, also known as the Campus. She knew the first thing she needed to find was a group of safety friends. She would go to the Careers, knowing they already had a large friend group established out of thin air. After that she would find shelter in one of the dorms and hunt for food. She knew it was sparse in the Campus, and if she didn’t have any sponsors, she would surely perish.”

***

“So what happens when we graduate?” Pita asked Lactose.

“I don’t know. I guess we try to forget.”

“I don’t wanna forget.” He responded.

She rubbed her temples.

“Shit, I don’t remember half of it anyway.”

He laughed, “Shyeah, you were so drunk!”

***

“Stds are catching, and if we burn, you burn with us!…..Literally.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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