8 Reasons The Vampire Lestat Should Be My Boyfriend
By Kendra Alvey
Anne Rice recently announced that she’s writing another Vampire Chronicles book. That alone would’ve made me pass out from joy but get this. It’s about Lestat! The book is called Prince Lestat and is set to be published in October! The squeal I let out when I read that can only be described as “disturbingly shrill.” Seriously, I kissed the photo of Anne Rice on my desk. Yes, there’s a photo of Anne Rice on my desk. Shut up.
It’s just that I love Lestat. I love him so much you don’t even know. You can keep your Stefan Salvatore and your Edward Cullen. You can even keep your Spike and your Eric Northman if I can have Lestat de Lioncourt, the original bad boy non-sparkly vampire hottie.
Here are 8 reasons he should be my boyfriend because why not:
1. Lestat was a straight-up rock star and man, I love rock! You should see me loving some rock so frequently and so vehemently, you guys! I rock out so hard and stuff. Plus, I own several leather jackets and more pairs of black boots than Mick Jagger.
2. Lestat loves books. Man, I’m not even kidding about this: I LOVE BOOKS TOO! What a coincidence! He even holes up reading books for a super long portion of his immortal life, which I can totally identify with because that’s me every weekend! I mean, when I’m not rocking so so hard, that is.
3. Lestat went to hell and back in Memnoch the Devil. I do this every Saturday when I brave the Trader Joe’s parking lot for my hummus and vanilla almond milk. He’s mine! Mine mine mine.
4. Lestat is from France originally. I took two years of French in high school and I’ve been to Paris twice! I can even say, “I’m a stupid American” and “Please give me vodka” in French! J’adore Lestat, y’all!
5. Lestat has grey eyes. We are clearly meant to be because (drum roll) I also have grey eyes. An ex-boyfriend even said my eyes reminded him of pavement and it was sooooo romantic! Think of all the little grey-eyed blood sucking monster babies we’d have!
6. Lestat awakens Akasha in Queen of the Damned with his songs. You guys aren’t gonna believe this but I awakened my neighbor’s baby by singing “We Built This City” in the shower last week. Destiny. I can’t even.
7. Lestat is bisexual. One time I kissed a girl at a party in college OHMYGAWD IT’S LIKE WE’RE TWINS.
8. Lestat loves theatre. And, wouldn’t you know it, I was a theatre major! When he gets bored, I can just do my monologue from Assassins for him. I’m sure he’ll love it and then he’ll love me and then we’ll fly around the world being super fabulous and eating people and whatnot.
Okay, I rest my case, ladies and gents. Get your own fictional badass vampire boyfriend. Lestat de Lioncourt is mine.