Love Isn’t Easy Because We Make It Harder Than It Has To Be

Unsplash / Andreas Schäfer
Unsplash / Andreas Schäfer

We are the generation who wants life to be easy. We want people to “say how they feel” and to forget those blurred “are we talking, are we exclusive or are we dating” lines, but won’t bother to have the conversation.

We want loyalty but can’t remain loyal. Sure, maybe we don’t cheat, but we don’t stay loyal. We don’t stick things out when they get rough. We are the generation who leaves when things get difficult. We quit when things get tough. If a problem can’t be fixed overnight, we don’t want to deal with it at all.

We are the generation that wants someone to spend Friday nights with, but aren’t prepared for that Saturday morning sunrise. We aren’t ready for when the make up comes off, and the party is over.

We aren’t ready to let go of the “honeymoon” stage. We want the adventure. We want the “can’t keep your hands off each other” without the deep connection.

We want someone to be all about us, but won’t commit to the time it takes to get there. We want quick fixes, spontaneous dates, and leave you speechless kind of moments without the work.

We don’t want to have to work at love. We don’t want to have the uncomfortable “what are we” conversations. We don’t want our partners to know we’re upset. We’d rather keep our thoughts to ourselves than admit we’re sensitive or y’know, human.

We are the generation who wants to be “relationship goals,” but doesn’t want the pain that comes with being in love. We have an idealized perception of love. A love where sweet texts happen every morning, where people show up to your door with flowers, the kind of love all the songs are about.

But we don’t want to fall. We don’t want to admit we have feelings. Feelings make us vulnerable and being vulnerable makes us weak. We don’t want to be weak. We don’t want to admit that we get jealous. We don’t want to push ourselves out of our comfort zone.

We want someone who will break down our walls and love us the way we are, but don’t give them the tools to do that. We are so afraid of rejection and commitment that we keep our thoughts and fears to ourselves and let them consume us instead of working through them.

We want the love we see in movies, without the fighting, the compromise, and the uneasy moments.

We are the generation who wants love, but doesn’t want the glitter to fade. Being in love isn’t glamorous. Being in love isn’t always trips to exotic places or laying on the couch watching your favorite movie.

Being in love means arguing over which restaurant you want to go to. Being in love means understanding that sometimes we all need space, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. Being in love means giving in and compromising on having pasta when you wanted pizza. Being in love means understanding that a work trip might get in the way of going to a family dinner.

Being in love isn’t all about taking cute photos and showering each other with expensive gifts (although those are cool too). Being in love means working to build and grow together. To work through the bumps in the road, to understand each other instead of jumping to conclusions. Love is about finding balance.

We are the generation who wants to love and be loved so badly, but run away from it any chance we get. Thought Catalog Logo Mark 

I love dogs, maybe too much.

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