3 Tips On Picking Up Girls At The Bar From A Behaviorist Perspective

How many times have you spotted the perfect girl at the bar and thought, “Holy Shit! I’m so in!” only to leave with a fake number and hurt feelings. Here are some tips to not only help you spot an interested party, but also secure the chance to meet that lovely lady again.

1. Scanning The Room

In looking for the most receptive person, you have to look at not only the person, but also the group they are in. If you see a group of four or more girls, the likelihood of you finding a will be pretty difficult. Think of it this way, a large group of girls typically go to a bar or club en mass to enjoy each other’s company and not looking for a new man. Also, if you do find an interested party, you have a bevy of obstacles to dodge and evade. You might be able to pull it off, but at the same time there are other prospects that have a higher chance of success.

Utilizing your trusty wingman, two or three member groups are good targets. If it’s just two you ensure that both females will be preoccupied with your candor, and if it’s three your second will help ease the intimidation of the potential 3 against 1 scenario. There is also an occasion to where you might find a lady out by herself. They can be viable targets as well, however the approach will be a little different.

Now that we’ve narrowed down the group a little bit more, let’s talk about the tactics of the approach.

2. Approaching The Group

Before you approach a group of 2 or 3, casually see their interactions with one another. Look for the leader, there is always one. Does she like to talk a lot, does she order shots for the group, or is she the group’s mom. These behaviors will help you to be able to properly pick the course of action to make the approach. You should also see how other groups interact with them. Are they immediately dismissive, is one or two of the females in the group being singled out while the others are being ignored, do they look receptive to interactions, or would they prefer to be left alone. This not only helps you to decide whether it is a good group to approach, but also who you should make contact with. A little observation can save you a lot of wasted time and effort.

A lot of these observations can be tied into the single girl approach as well. However, never, ever approach her with your wingman. This is a solo mission, not a group operation.

3. Who You Should Target

The observations you’ve collected will help you choose the best and most receptive target, and here’s a hint, never go for the leader. Very rarely will they be receptive to hearing from you. The reason for this is simply because more often than not every guy in the bar has her targeted. She will either turn you down quickly or insure that you won’t be able to make conversations with their friends. Again, time to call upon your wingman. They will keep the leader at bay as you chat it up with another member of the group. Another call back to your observation is whether or not they have been engaged by other guys or ignored. A female that has been ignored most of the night while her friends are being chatted up are more open to a conversation with a stranger than her overly flirted with friends.

When approaching a lone female, be as casual as possible. If you go in guns a blazing the interest will quickly turn to annoyance. Strike up a conversation, whether it’s what’s on TV, or simply introducing yourself. Timing is everything though. If she is clearly watching the game, this is not the time to strike up a conversation. If she opens the conversation up however, then game on! Remember, girls like sports too and how pissed would you be if you had someone distract you long enough to miss the best play of the year. Another key thing that will come into play observing her before you make you approach. I am not suggesting you sit and stare at her for an hour or so because that will just make you creepy. Casually observing the person for a few minutes before making an approach however, will not only help eliminate the possibility that she is waiting for someone else to join her, but could give you a little more information that will help you introduce yourself in the best way possible.

With these thoughts in mind, it will set you up best for success to get her real number, or potentially maybe an overnight visitor. It’s basic human behavior and if you understand that you have a better chance! Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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