I Wish You Could See Life Like I Do

woman leaning on gray concrete wall
Jasmine B / Unsplash

I wish you could see life like I do,
But then again, I wouldn’t want you to go through what I did to make me see it this way.

I wish you could see the way I see the sunrise,
How the sky always seems a little brighter,
Fuller,
Like the sun came up just for me.
But I feel like this every. Single. Day.
It’s like the rest of the world is fast asleep and it’s just me in this unapologetically stubborn world.
How incredible it feels to witness what others don’t,
Or don’t choose,
to see.
I wish you could see the way I see it,
But then again, the reason I see it this way is because for months I didn’t see a sunrise,
I saw the inside of a hospital room.
4 white walls,
2 bright eyes slowly fading.
1 life being taken,
but a handful of lives changed.
I see it this way because it’s incredible to know that time doesn’t stop for you,
Or me.
That for a quick couple of moments every single morning the sky puts on a show,
And it doesn’t care who is watching,
it still shines and does it again,
and again…
day after day.

I wish you could see the way I see open spaces.
The sky on a clear day,
The vast desert dunes,
Standing,
Seeing for miles.
The open spaces that feel more empty than ever,
But not the lonely kind of empty.
The gentle,
feeling of empty,
that only has room for love
and a lot of
magic.
I wish you could feel what I feel when I stand alone, with no soul sight
But then again, the reason I feel the way I do is because I wandered Australia with no one else but me.
And the space was decided because he wanted to have more of his own.
Like I was taking up,
too much,
So I created my own.
And now I guard it with everything I have.
I see open spaces as opportunity,
sometimes to run,
Sometimes to hide,
but most of the time to think.

I wish you could see the way I see love,
How pure and honest it is.
How love isn’t something that comes easy, but it’s something that you choose to do.
How even the most deserving of love,
Don’t get it,
And those who chase it,
lose it.
I wish you could see how bad I want it,
But how much I don’t NEED it.
I wish you could see how losing love made me love harder.
And made me,
Harder to love.
I wish you could see love like I do,
But then again, I wouldn’t want you to go through what I did to make me see it this way.
How loving someone completely and whole heartily will never save their lives,
How cancer doesn’t care that you love your mother.
How saying “I love you” for the last time doesn’t feel like the last time,
until you don’t hear it back and never will…
That loving unconditionally,
doesn’t change someone else’s mind into loving you unconditionally.
And that the way that I love people, is not always the same way others love me.

I wish you could see how many things I fall in love with daily,
How many moments I hold so close to my heart.
I wish you could,
but then again I don’t,
because then you would see how many things I’ve suddenly lost,
how many times my heart has been completely useless
and sometimes undeserving.
You would see how many moments I won’t get back and how many memories I carry around that I shouldn’t,
how many burdens I bare that aren’t mine to hold.

I wish you could see adventure like I do,
How freeing,
Wild,
And absolutely necessary it is.
I wish you could see what I see, when I witness something for the first time.
How pure and authentic my heart becomes.
I really wish you could see,
But then again, you would have to go through adventures that were less thrilling and more trivial to the rest of my life.
The constant realization that some of the biggest adventures in my life,
Marriage, kids,
Will be lacking some of my most important humans.
But my God, I wish you could see how I see life though,
Because it’s the clearest it’s ever been.

Now all these things seem so precious,
How darkness makes us appreciate the light.
And storms make us dig deep in the fight.

The rare things about us cause the most chaos,
But the chaos is what keeps me interested.

My goal is to create a life that feels good on the inside,
Not one that just looks good on the outside.

I wish you could see life like I do,
But then again, I wouldn’t want you to go through what I did to make me see it this way. TC mark

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I've never had a cavity in my whole entire life. Follow Kelsey on Instagram or read more articles from Kelsey on Thought Catalog.