woman sitting on brown chair

No—Being Single is Not a Personality Trait

First, let’s start by defining what a personality trait is.

Personality trait: the quality or state of being a person. Personal existence.

I don’t know about you, but I know my personal existence here is not just to be “single, in a relationship, or married”. Honey, those are just titles. Not every title holds strong enough to define you. Honestly, no title defines you. Could you imagine that instead of your existence being made up of love, laughter, career moves, family, friends etc., your existence was to specifically define one term and one term only: single.

If we let titles define us, we would be defined by anything someone called us. That is what we are NOT doing in 2021. Just because Sally on main street called you a raging bitch does not make you an actual raging bitch. Everyone is entitled to bad days just as much as good days. You are not defined by a bad moment or even a bad week. Your personality isn’t even defined by one moment, one day, or one week. Your personality ends up being defined by years of routine reactions and life practices.

We have so many purposes to serve in our lifetime, some as small as making someone’s bad day just a little bit better and others as big as saving someone’s whole life. I have found one main purpose to my existence, and that is to be the best mother I can be to my daughter. I am able to do that no matter my relationship status. From what I hear, I’m doing a pretty good job being a mom and being single.

Look at it this way: No matter how much you love a person, do you really want to be defined by just them? Do you really want people to look at you and say, “They were created to be single” or “they were born just to be their significant other.” One of your biggest and most important purposes in life may be to complete your significant other, and that’s an amazing dream come true. But you’re still more than just the missing piece to their puzzle. You’re still someone’s son, daughter, brother, sister, friend, employee, mother, father etc.

You absolutely do NOT want your personality to be seen as “their significant other”. You want your personality to be defined in ways such as “beautiful inside and out” or “genuine and kind” or ” strong” or “outgoing”. Those personality traits are far more full of life and purpose. Those are the personality traits that will never leave you empty and will continue to serve even after you’re gone. Those are the personality traits you want defining you.

“They are single.” So? That even sounds ridiculous. Your personality traits are what make you who you are. Go be great. Go enjoy life. Go be as single as you want. It will never define you. It will never be your personality; it is not who you are. You are you. You are beautiful, honest, genuine, and fun. Being single does not affect that. You are you, and that’s pretty great.

So no, being single is not a personality trait. It is a title. A title that will never define you.

About the author
mama :) fitness fanatic. 28. wild spirit. huge heart Follow Kelsey on Instagram or read more articles from Kelsey on Thought Catalog.

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