Work can seem like such a negative word. Put that verb into the perspective of doing the work it takes to get something you immensely want.
When you want to achieve something, the work only seems like steps and motivation. When it’s something you’re emotionally invested in, it’s almost always worth it and rewarding. You normally never think twice, you just do what’s needed to achieve that feeling of success. It’s just plain worth it. If you’re emotionally present with a person, their happiness and success is also worth it.
So, sis, don’t date a man who doesn’t do the work. Period. A man will be happy to do the work for a woman he truly wants. When I use the word work, I mean more than a physical job, but sis, he better have that too. I mean, your man better tell you “good morning” and “goodnight” every day, if it’s possible. Your man should be excited to start his day with you. If he’s going to have a busy day, he should take .2 seconds to tell you, “Hey babe, I’m going to be busy today. I’ll talk to you when I can.”
Your man should DATE you from start to finish. A date out, a date in, whatever, but he should look forward to a wine and dine with you. That man better be your #1 fan. He doesn’t always have to agree with you, but he should be rooting for you. That man better always support you. From “You look amazing in that outfit” to “Baby girl, you got this” to “You will succeed, and I will always be beside you.”
If you’re having a bad day, week, or month, your man should be what makes it better. I don’t care if it’s a thoughtful text message, a bouquet of flowers, or your favorite snacks, PJs, and a movie night in. He should be making some effort to make your bad days better and your smile last longer. And girl, you should reciprocate that energy!
I’m just here to tell you that if a man is not easily doing these simple things on his own, then he simply doesn’t want to do them for you. That’s harsh to hear, I get it. I watched myself beg my ex to simply cuddle with me and he said no every time. Then after we split, he started seeing another girl and they cuddled a lot. I had another guy who just wanted to hang out and mess around only. He was so against dating or anything more (with me). Less than a year later, he fell head over heels for a girl, bought a house with her, and is so consumed by her.
There’s nothing wrong with me. I work hard, I’m sweet, I’m pretty and fit. I just haven’t met my person yet, or at least not at the right time. There’s a man out there somewhere who would kill to do any and all of the small things for me. There’s a man out there who would feel lucky to have me and be over the moon happy to live his life with me. I’m content with waiting for a man who takes pride in his effort toward me. I will also be appreciative and ready to reciprocate all of his efforts, big and small.
And there is for you too, girlfriend. There’s someone that amazing out there for you too.
Don’t date a man who doesn’t do the work, because the right man will! When the right man comes along and he does the work, please make sure to reciprocate the effort. We are all human.