I’m in bed for the 200th or so evening when I roll over to find an M&M from a few nights previous. I eat it because why wouldn’t I? Then I contemplate my entire life choices, and now here we are.
Waves of sadness have floated in and out of my days for the past six months, naturally due to the abundance of uncertainty this dumpster fire of a year has thrust upon all of us, but I digress. I’m not going to bore you by talking about how the pandemic and other atrocities have tampered with everyone’s mental health and wellbeing this year. No, I’d rather talk about what’s really made me sad this year, and that’s hanging onto things, people, or situations that have long past their expiry dates. I’d rather talk about letting go of what no longer serves us.
Selena Gomez once sang, “The heart wants what it wants.” Honestly, I’m sure someone said it before her, but for the sake of being modern, let’s go with that.
The heart may want what it wants, but most of the time it doesn’t know what it needs. There’s a huge difference there. I’m someone who heavily bases my decisions on emotion versus logic. This has gotten me into some particularly exhausting situations. Something I’ve been thinking about more frequently with all this extra free time is why I feel the way I do. I’ve always been very introspective and someone who knows who they are generally. That being said, I did learn that I’m someone who clutches onto my comfort zone during times of uncertainty and confusion.
Now, this isn’t exactly mind blowing. I’m sure most people would agree that running back to someone or something that feels safe and comforting during times of trauma is not exactly a shocker. However, doing this comes with its own set of new challenges. Maybe we ran back to an ex boyfriend or girlfriend because we needed some form of normalcy, someone that was once your person. Maybe we started a friendship back up that was best left in the past. Why do we revert back to old chapters in our story? Mainly because we’re terrified of what’s to come in the next chapter. Maybe we’re scared that there isn’t going to be another chapter as sweet as the one we just closed. Maybe, just maybe, if we try and recreate our last chapter, our last year, things could just remain the same. But we’re fooling ourselves with this mentality and doing ourselves a great injustice by trying to live in the past.
Everything that happens is meant to happen. All we are accomplishing when we go backwards, instead of stepping into the unknown, is blocking our own blessings. How do we expect to meet another great person to potentially spend our lives with if we’re preoccupied with someone who we are trying to force that connection with? How do we expect to meet amazing new friends if we’re hanging onto friendships that pulled us back and didn’t make us feel good? Growth can not be found in a comfort zone. It’s a very limiting experience.
This year isn’t over yet. There is still time to grow, learn, and take that scary leap into a new chapter where some of our best days haven’t even happened yet. As we enter autumn, it’s time to make like a tree and shake off our dead relationships, friendships, and situations that are no longer serving us. Thank them for the comfort and lessons that were provided to us and move on.
There is still time.