10. I got a nice piece of jewelry to sell.
A trip or fun little splurge waiting to happen, on him.
9. I stopped saving money for a wedding I wasn’t ready for…
The huge financial burden lifted off my shoulders let me prepare for my next big move…
8. And I took that money and paid off my car.
I felt like I was throwing off a ball and chain as I wrote out that last little payment ticket and joyfully told the bank employee, “This money was for my wedding but we broke up!” The feeling of simultaneous victory and defiance was overwhelming.
7. I never have to see his family again.
I seriously thought the day would never come when I’d never have to hear his sister talk about her job or see his hillbilly cousins ever again.
6. I didn’t have to file for divorce 3 years later.
This really was a lesson in preventive heartbreak.
5. I didn’t have to rush into the rest of my life not fully prepared.
I felt like the wedding planning experience and planning life afterwards was spent on autopilot – I couldn’t process it or take any joy in it, and I know that’s not the way it should be. When it’s the right person for you, the process will be fun and exciting, not duties to check off a list.
4. I don’t have to deal with his mental health problems, financial issues, or emotional baggage.
The main cause of our breakup was that he wasn’t prepared to get married in a few ways, and I realized I would’ve been playing nanny, counselor, or financial planner to someone who refused to take charge of his own life.
3. I focused on my career and getting a better job.
Since I couldn’t coast by relying on his income to supplement mine anymore, I was pushed into really examining what I wanted in a career, and then chasing – and getting – a few jobs I really enjoyed.
2. I was free to save money and travel.
Perhaps my proudest accomplishment since the whole ordeal is the fact that I’ve been able to take seven trips in less than four years – something I never could have done as a newlywed.
1. I was free to find someone better.
The silver lining and by far the best thing to come out of any break-up, amid all the anger, hurt, embarrassment, and drama, is that you are wiser and more knowledgeable about yourself and what you want. You are truly free to find someone better.