Relationships teach us so much about who we are. They show us what we’re willing to put up with and what sets us off. They push our boundaries, they make us feel so vulnerable and open.
And you hate that.
You hate feeling like you’re letting virtually a stranger into your little world, into your home which has always been your safe haven, inevitably waiting for them to come in and destroy the safety net you’ve created for yourself.
You sat there after your last failed relationship and started building. You built it with hope, positivity, dreams. You built it so high and you built it so strong. You have a hard time believing anyone will be able to tear it down and see you. You have a hard time believing anyone out there is worth the risk because, let’s be real, there’s a ton of risks. It’s safer behind there, it’s comfortable.
There’s one problem with comfortable though, nothing grows there.
So here’s some advice from one girl who puts up that same wall; put a hole in it. A hole big enough to see his face, to see his heart. Keep the rest at bay until he proves he can be trusted to be let in fully. He should know that privilege beyond the wall shouldn’t be taken lightly and that the person you’re partially hiding behind it, well, is frankly too beautiful for words.
People always appreciate something more if they’ve had to work at it, work for it. If their time and energy has been invested in it, it means that much more.
It’s the same with relationships, you work hard for what you want. You put the effort in where you feel necessary and believe me honey, you are necessary.
Don’t build the wall so high that possibility can’t get in, but don’t make it so accessible that toxicity does.