I bet if you were to count the number of times you say “sorry” on an everyday basis you would be surprised by how numerous it is. You apologize for bumping into someone, for saying something out of turn, for being too loud or too quiet, for moving too slowly or too quickly or for a million other things you think you do wrong every day. Part of it is manners, but there is also that part where too many people apologize for being themselves because they feel like they should be doing something different.
If I have learned anything from being a teenage girl in the 21st century, it is that society expects you to be apologetic. They expect you to conform to certain standards that it sets for you. Don’t be too quiet. Don’t dress too out of the box. Don’t wear too much makeup, but you better remember to put at least a little on. Don’t stay with your high school boyfriend. Long distance relationships are stupid. Wow, you really do date around a lot. You laugh really loud. Stop looking so sad all the time. Don’t walk to fast. Gosh, could you move any slower…..These are the things I here every single day. It’s like a chorus of people telling me how to do things and somehow it they are always contradicting themselves. So I always find myself apologizing. Apologizing for almost everything I do and for just simply being myself.
It’s not until my best friend was going through a horrible break up and I found myself telling her to be unapologetic about moving on and seeing other people that I realized I am a horrible offender of not following my own advice. I am one of the most apologetic people I know, and it took a couple glasses of wine, a break up, and a really long self-reflection to realize that I have to stop being so. I have to learn that I am not everyone’s cup of tea, but that is okay. I should never apologize for simply being me and neither should any other young woman.
So ladies (and men for that fact), I challenge you to stop apologizing. You can do it when being polite, in fact I encourage that. But unless you are bumping into someone or closing the door on their face, stop apologizing for living. Stop apologizing for being beautifully you. Stop apologizing for dreaming and thinking out of the box. Remain unapologetic, and just live.