Disclaimer: All of these things have actually occurred, either to me or to a friend, usually at brunch.
1. A mysterious someone will charge several glasses of Pinot Grigio to your tab without your knowing. Don’t worry; it was probably just an ex-fling.
2. Your apartment will have a problem with A) mice, B) loud neighbors, or C) your ceiling collapsing on you in the shower.
3. Your reliance on Seamless.com or a similar site will become borderline codependent.
4. A certain friend you acquire will ALWAYS skimp on their share of the bill. They might even claim the $20 bill you threw down as their own. WTF man, you saw me place it on the table!
5. You will date someone who has a car, and keep dating him or her only because they have a car. Day-trip!
6. Your coffee truck guy will know you well enough to offer free bagels. Or up-charge you – sorry dudes.
7. Any borough you don’t live in sucks.
8. The borough you live in sucks.
9. Wait, actually the borough you live in rocks.
10. You are rich sometimes, poor a lot of times, but you always have enough money for brunch.
11. The line to pick up your package at the post office is always OUTRAGEOUS. Naturally you resort to handwritten notes on your building’s front door telling the UPS man/woman to leave the package with the dry cleaners next door.
12. You will drunkenly make out with someone who is way hotter than you, or conversely, not even close to your level of hotness. Or both. It’s awesome either way.
13. You’ll know what bars to take your underage siblings to when they visit.
14. You’ll be obsessed with fads like it’s middle school all over again.
15. You’ll gain weight and lose weight at the same time.
16. You’ll either want to stay forever or move far away – but your adventures here will stay burned in your mind indefinitely!