15 Things That Show You Are From Pittsburgh

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  1. Whenever someone asks where you’re from, most people respond by: mumbling something about the Steelers, complaining about the steel mills that shut down almost half a century ago, or giving you a blank stare.
  2. Steelers football. Even if you do not like football, you will still always know the score of last night’s game and the latest things that the players have been up to because there is always someone talking about it. You will find yourself at Steelers parties from September into December/January, either screaming at the television or surreptitiously sneaking more taco dip in the corner.
  3. When driving to work in the morning in the rain, listening to Mike and Bob, you are annoyed because 376E (the premier clogged artery of the city highways) is jammed with jagoffs.
  4. You know what a jagoff is. You also know what to do with a sweeper, what weather might cause it to be slippy outside, and how to red up a room.
  5. You didn’t grow up speaking Pittsburgh-ese but found yourself adopting it ironically after moving to the city. After a while, you find yourself using it accidentally when you’re ordering a drink at the bar.
  6. You know that the Southside and Oakland are brimming with college kids, Shadyside and East Liberty are filled with post-grads and young professionals, and Station Square is the Jersey Shore of Pittsburgh.
  7. At some point in your life, you have been to the Dirty O around 2 a.m. You don’t want to talk about it.
  8. You travel to other cities and are surprised when there are not fries on your salad.
  9. You travel to other cities and are surprised when there are not fries on your sandwich.
  10. You can debate the pros and cons of taking each bridge into the city, from best view to worst traffic.
  11. For some reason, there is always someone asking if you had enough halushki.
  12. There are statues of spray-painted dinosaurs in random places, and you don’t think twice about this.
  13. You didn’t know that the city had a trolley (light rail) system until last year.
  14. After college, all of your friends moved to New York or Los Angeles.
  15. After a few years in another city, most of them have moved back.