It’s easy to convince ourselves that we should keep our expectations and standards low to avoid getting hurt or let down. It’s easy to look in the mirror and see all our flaws and imperfections rather than all the beauty. It’s easy to think that because we have wronged people in the past, we deserve to be wronged in return. It’s easy to make excuses for people that we care about. It’s easy to overlook things we shouldn’t because we want everything to work out as planned. It’s easy to ignore red flags because we love someone. It’s easy to fail to see everything that’s wrong when we’ve invested so much of ourselves in making it work. It’s easy to make excuses and live with the disappointment rather than to leave.
When you care about a person, you see them in a way that is often inaccurate. Sometimes what and who we think a person is doesn’t match up to who they are in reality. It’s easy to put on rose-colored glasses when we love someone. To overlook their flaws and imperfections. This is not necessarily wrong. No one is perfect, and in order to succeed in a relationship you have to be willing to love someone despite their faults. The difference is whether you are overlooking flaws or settling for less than you deserve. If you are failing to see that you are not being treated how you should. It’s okay to excuse the fact that someone never hangs up their towel or fails to put the glass in the sink after using it. It’s okay to excuse even bigger things. Maybe they have some issues communicating their feelings but are trying to work on it. Maybe they have family issues they are trying to work through. As long as these things do not affect their treatment of you, it’s okay to overlook certain shortcomings. Especially when their faults are far outweighed by their good qualities. The difference is when the person isn’t treating you with the kindness and love you are giving them.
Everyone deserves a person who loves them unconditionally, even at their worst. A person who wants to see them smile and laugh. Who will listen to their complaints, their hopes, and their dreams. Who will laugh at even the corniest jokes. If you aren’t being treated like you are amazing and worthy, something is wrong. Because you are beautiful and smart and remarkable. If you’re with someone who doesn’t see this in you, you are settling for less than you deserve. And you should stop.
I know it’s hard. Really damn hard. You make excuses and justifications. You blame yourself. You think if you could just change or try harder than maybe they will see how wonderful you are. THEY WON’T. Don’t lose yourself trying to please someone else. Because there is someone out there that will not only accept you, but will love you for all that you are. Sure, you really like or love this person. You have a lot of fun with them and you care about them a lot. But if you are often left feeling let down or as if they don’t care about you just as much, why settle for that?
More than likely, the reason you aren’t getting what you deserve isn’t your fault. It has nothing to do with you. That other person probably isn’t ready to give you what you need. Or maybe you just aren’t right for each other. That isn’t on you. That doesn’t mean you’re any less fantastic. Just because someone fails to see your value doesn’t decrease your worth. Remember that. Tell yourself that over and over and then summon up the courage to walk away. It’s going to hurt. You are going to feel damaged and depressed. There will be times you beat yourself up and blame yourself and your shortcomings, but try not to. Remind yourself that all you’re doing is choosing not to settle for less than you deserve.
You are gorgeous. You are smart. You are kind. You are generous. You are fun. You are witty. You are driven. You are creative. You are all sorts of wonderful things. Walk away from someone who doesn’t or can’t appreciate these things. That way, when you come across someone who does, you’re not blind to it because you’re settling for less than you deserve.