The 12 Phases Of Freaking Out When You Think You’re Dyeing Your Hair Brown But It Comes Out Orange

Featureflash / Shutterstock.com
Featureflash / Shutterstock.com

1. So, you texted your roommate a picture of that almost brown auburn color you thought would look super cute on you. You spent your grocery money for the week on that box of color and junk food for your hair dyeing extravaganza, and set out for home… Now, you have orange hair and you haven’t even blown it all the way dry yet. You start to freak out and don’t know whether to cry or to scream but DEAR GOD MY HAIR IS ORANGE.

2. Google becomes your BFF for a few minutes. While you work really hard at trying to not replay your mother saying “I just don’t want you to ruin your pretty hair” over and over in your head and wanting to slap yourself for making such a stupid mistake, you search for “Hair Dye Gone Wrong Fixes” and pray to God that your hair doesn’t fall out of your head.

3. Walmart run at 2 AM to get a dark color that will cover this shit up while you pray that no one is looking at you as you walk through the grocery store with your new hair dye. You ask siri to find a homemade deep conditioning treatment, and walk to the condiment aisle when she tells you that mayonnaise is your best bet. Self checkout is closed so you’re forced to pay at a register where you avoid the obvious “What is a girl like you doing out this late” looks you’re getting from the cashier.

4. The drive home you start to think about how your hair would look super short, just in case the shit starts to fall out as you pour more chemicals on your head in a few minutes.

5. You get home and hair dye extravaganza no more, your roommate is on her way to bed. You are in this alone kid.

6. You remember just how much you hate the smell of mayonnaise.

7. You realize just how gross putting mayonnaise on your head really is and try not to gag while it sits on top of your head and stinks it up.

8. You wash out the mayonnaise and blow dry your still unfortunately orange hair and think to yourself how pissed your mom is going to be if you come home with a pixie cut for family pictures.

9. You start the re-dyeing process, and wonder if your head is really burning and itching or if that’s just your brain and the evil orange hair dye playing tricks on you.

10. You wash out the dye after less than the recommended time on the box, and apply more mayonnaise. Cue gagging yet again.

11. You wash out the mayonnaise and blow dry just the roots to make sure your hair is semi normal again. Nothing falls out. You pass out way too late.

12. You wake up the next afternoon (lets be real here, you did not get up the next morning) and think for a minute that it must have been a dream. Then, you look at the mirror at your almost black but not quite black hair, and realize that you spent about an hour with mayonnaise on your head last night and vow to never speak of it again. TC Mark

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